Murder The Moment [BoyXBoy]

.:23:.:The End:.

I sobbed quietly as I felt him push in roughly, painfully filling me up and forcing me into the wall, then pull back out, to gain the friction he desired. I should have been used to this by now because it has happened so many times and would happen a lot more, but I did not think it would ever be something I could be comfortable with or even accept. He decided to claim my body as his own and, as much as I hated it, I knew that I deserved it.

After all, why was no one stopping him? They had monitored cameras here, and someone always kept an eye on them, yet they let this happen. Heck, even Mikey was in charge of the cameras sometimes! But he hated me, just like anyone else. He blamed me for the death of his loved ones and I, too, blamed myself. Even if I did not physically pick up the gun and shoot, someone had to pay for the crime.

Was it a surprise? Not at all. Luck was never on my side and it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. I had it coming all along.

I struggled to catch my breath as the frantic water droplets sizzled on my back, undoubtedly leaving burns, while he kept going without missing a beat. A cry of pain escaped my lips, when he forcibly slammed into me one last time before he was able to let go with a low moan. I shuddered as I felt his warmth flow into me.

He slowly pulled out and shoved me to the floor, where I collapsed with a gasp. And I just lay there, naked, listening to the sounds of him pulling his clothes on and, even without looking, I knew he gave me that disgusted look. He always did.

As soon as Mike left the showers, I was able to break down.

It was one of the worst things I had ever experienced; he had never been this violent before, so it must have been a bad day. However, it was not the worst thing I went through, as the award for that category went to seeing my daughter get killed right before my very eyes. But Mike always knew how to hit a nerve in me. He rarely talked but, whenever he did, it was a vulgar comment about my past and sometimes it was worse than the physical side of it.

After the fourth time it happened, I stopped fighting back.

As inhumane as it sounded, it had almost become a routine to me. He did this at least twice a week, during my group's shower period, right after everyone left, and I could do nothing but wait until he finished. Mike told me that it was payback for nearly getting Alysha locked up, but I knew that it was much more personal than that, as this would be considered cheating. Although, he would refuse to answer any questions I gave him.

When I was finally able to pull myself together, the showers had long since stopped. I wiped my tear-stained face and stood up on shaky legs, feeling sore as ever, and trying my hardest not to fall on the slippery floor.

I tried feeling at least a tiny bit of empathy for myself, but I could not do it, because there was always a voice at the back of my mind telling me I deserved it. And it was correct.

Slowly, I dried myself off and pulled on some clean clothes, all while shaking rapidly. Gulping down a painful lump in my throat, I stepped outside into the hallway and took in my surroundings: the stained grey walls, the cracks in the cold floor, the few barred windows. And those were the only things I would be seeing until the end of my life.

After Katelynne had accidentally shot Copeland instead of Vic, it took seconds before she put a bullet in her own head. Now that I thought about it, it was not that much of a surprise but, at the time, I was absolutely horrified. It was just Vic and I, standing completely still, in a room with four dead bodies and no culprit. So someone had to be blamed.

I always wanted what was best for Vic so, while I falsely confessed to the murder of the four people in the apartment, I also made up a detailed story about how I was responsible for the death of Tony and Jaime. It did not take much to convince them: they were not looking for a culprit, all they wanted was someone to take responsibility for the crimes. And, as I would have gotten a life sentence anyway, I at least wanted to brighten up Vic's world slightly.

He deserved to be released after all those years of being locked away. Vic had so much to live for and, although I loved him with all of my heart, I knew that I had to let him go. It was for the best. He would find someone better than me, and I would be happy for him. I had no reason to be free anymore. Copeland was gone and, although Vic and I would miss each other greatly, we had to move on.

I leaned against the wall for a few minutes, waiting until my balled hands stopped quivering, before I built up the courage to face the world, which despised me more than ever. Over the last two months, which I had spent back at Iron gate Prison, it was getting harder and harder to hide what I was truly feeling. But I built up the courage to push through yet another day.

A small smile complimented my features, as I entered the cafeteria. My eyes scanned over the crowd, until they landed on a barely-populated table at which only two people sat. I moved towards it and my completely artificial grin grew wider.

"Hey babe," I greeted, first slipping into the seat, then on top of the man's lap, and straddled his waist so that I was facing him. One of my arms circled around his neck, while the other started to play with his caramel hair, tangling it around my fingers. I placed my lips on the side of his unshaved face, as he smirked at me.

"Hi," Danny replied, sweetly planting his lips on my forehead, and I giggled softly.

I twisted around on the large man's lap, so that my back was against his firm chest, whilst I greeted the other man present at the table; Ashley. He gave a small nod and continued awkwardly poking his dinner.

A disappointed sigh escaped my lips, and that disappointment was centred around myself. It was so wrong to do this, but I needed a distraction from all of the bad things which had been going on in my life, and Danny was the best one I could find. I was selfish and fully aware of the fact that he was head over heels for me, but I could not stop myself. Danny loved me, he had said it many times, but I felt absolutely nothing. Just emptiness. And, although I did not love him back, I loved the idea of him. Because it was such a great idea.

However, the most worrying part was that it did not even feel like I was cheating on Vic. I accepted the fact that we could never be together and I was not sure whether that was a good or bad thing.

But it didn't matter anyway; Vic would forget about me quicker than I could forget about him. Everything we had was probably just a way to draw his attention away from the tragic loss of Jaime. He did say it was a forever thing, after all. And, as much as I wanted to, I could not give him a forever.

The End

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A/N

Yes, my friends, it's over. I know, I'm a fucking monster.

I'm going to miss this story a lot, but my new book 'Playboy' was just published and I would love it if you checked it out! I'm so excited for it.

Any questions, queries and death threats can be left right here.

Thanks for reading!