Return Of The Shadow

Chapter 23: So Much Loss

Frodo watched as Aragorn walked in a daze out of Legolas' room.

He stood up at the same time as Sam and Merry, Gimli and Eomer were there as well.

Frodo was taken back by Aragorn's expression. His eyes were wide and unfocused. He clutched something in his hand.

"Aragorn what's wrong?" he asked.
"What happened lad?" Gimli added. "Is Legolas alright?"

Aragorn said nothing. Eomer walked over to him.

"Aragorn?"
"She's dead." Aragorn mumbled.

Gimli looked up at him in confusion.

"Who's dead?"

Aragorn showed them all what he held in his hand. Frodo's spine turned to ice as he saw what it was. The pendant that Aragorn had given Eowyn.

Eomer stared at it in shock. Frodo saw him tremble and could see tears forming in his eyes. Eomer turned away from the others and left.

Aragorn did the same, but went in a different direction.

"Aragorn!" Gimli went after him. The man made no reply as he walked away.

The three hobbits were left alone. Frodo slumped back down to the floor. He was joined by Sam and Merry.

A million thoughts raced through the hobbit's head. So much had gone wrong. He'd lost the ring, his friends, and was now once again being consumed with grief.

He had thought that after they had escaped Minas Tirith and had built this place, after Aragorn had taken over the role of leader and had united the people, that things would start to get better.

But now he didn't know what to think. Boromir and Legolas were alive. He had no idea how or what they had endured for the past few years, but it filled him with dread.

Eowyn was dead, Aragorn was slipping into grief once again, and now Eomer was too. There was no one powerful enough to help them stand against Sauron, they didn't have the numbers to oppose him, he didn't know what they were supposed to do.

They'd lost Gandalf again, all the elves were gone, Elrond and Galadriel were dead, Bilbo was dead, the three hobbits were hanging onto their own sanity by a thread. Frodo didn't know how much more he could take.

For awhile none of them said anything. Each one busy with his own thoughts.

"Do you think he could still be alive?"

Frodo jumped at the sound of Merry's voice. The hobbit hadn't said a single word in months.

"Who could still be alive?" Sam asked.
"Pippin."

Frodo stiffened. Out of the three Merry had been grieving the most for Pippin. He hadn't been the same since they'd lost him in Minas Tirith.

He hadn't spoken to anyone. He wandered around as a hollow shell. He had no emotions, he ate in silence, followed Frodo and Sam in silence, never laughed anymore, and he never smiled. Even at Aragorn and Eowyn's wedding he only watched the small, but much needed celebration that had shown that hope had not been fully defeated.

But now, Frodo didn't know what to do. The thought of Pippin being alive... It seemed too much to hope for.

"Merry, just because Legolas lived doesn't mean-"

"Doesn't mean what Frodo?" Merry snapped. "If Legolas and Boromir are alive why couldn't he be alive too?"

"Merry, we don't even know what happened to Pippin, and-"

"We never saw him die." Sam said casting a sorrowful look at the cave floor.

"But Aragorn saw Legolas die," Merry argued, "and he's laying in that room right now."

"But Merry," Frodo said slowly, "even though Legolas is alive-"

"I don't see why Pippin couldn't be alive too!"

Tears were falling down Merry's face. Frodo could see that all the grief and anger he had been holding back all these years was about to spill out.

"It was my fault that he got left behind! I should have been the one to have gone back for him! I should have made sure he stayed right beside me! For years I've blamed myself for losing him but not once did I ever accept that he was dead!"

Frodo was on the verge of tears. The sight of his younger cousin, once so full of joy and mischief, carefree and innocent, breaking apart in front of his eyes, was too much for him to bear.

"Merry, I know you miss him. We all do. But you have to accept that he's gone."

"NO! He's not dead! I won't accept it until someone can tell me that they saw him die!"

Frodo was at a loss for words. He suddenly noticed someone standing behind Merry. Frodo's eyes widened as he saw Legolas standing near the entrance to his room.

He was nothing like Frodo remembered. His eyes were grey and filled with grief and pain. His face was scarred, on the outside and inside. He gazed at the three hobbits in heartbreaking sorrow.

"Pippin survived the attack on Minas Tirith. He was taken prisoner to Mordor. Along with me, Boromir and Faramir."

Frodo couldn't believe it. Pippin had survived? But wait, Legolas had said he was a prisoner...

"Sauron promised not to harm Pippin if I did not try to fight him. For a time I thought he was safe. But his orcs, they tried to hurt him, I could not let that happen."

Legolas looked at them all in a way that made Frodo shudder. So much pain in one person... It was unbearable.

"I killed the orcs but I should not have. They took Pippin away, and when they brought him back he was dying. I tried to save him but it was too late. All I could do was be there for him."

Legolas looked Merry straight in the eyes.

"He did not suffer, he died peacefully and safe."

Merry didn't move. He couldn't move. He just stood there with his hands clenched in fists.

Legolas looked mournfully at Frodo. No tears filled the elf's eyes but they carried a grief more powerful than anything Frodo had seen before.

"I am sorry."

Without another word Legolas returned to his room. Sam had stood to his feet and looked dazed and confused.

Frodo looked at Merry and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Merry-"
"Don't touch me!"

Frodo flinched as Merry shook his arm off. The young hobbit stormed away and didn't look back.