Return Of The Shadow

Chapter 34: Last Goodbyes

Thranduil found his son shortly after the meeting.
He found him alone, going over his weapons.
Legolas inspected his knives, then put them into their sheaths that hung on his back.

Next he inspected his bow.
He ran his fingers along the string, he pulled it back and let it go.
Satisfied he hung it on his back.
Thranduil looked on with worry when he realized that the only armor his son was wearing were two leather shoulder pads.

"Are you not wearing any other armor?"
Thranduil asked.
Legolas looked up, his face showing no signs of emotion.
His son's face haunted him.
The grey eyes, the scar, it wasn't his son.

"Others need it more than I, I can manage with what I have.."
Legolas looked into his father's eyes. Waiting for him to speak.
Thranduil had planned what he was going to say to Legolas before hand, but now he didn't know what to say.

Legolas sighed and began to leave.
Before he could Thranduil finally said, "Your mother would be proud of you."

Legolas froze.
Thranduil rarely mentioned his mother.
Legolas turned back to his father.
"I am proud of you Legolas."
Thranduil continued.
"And I am sorry for not being there for you when I should have."

Thranduil hung his head.
He had so many things he needed to tell his son, but he couldn't find the words.
"What happened to me was not your fault."
Legolas told his father.
"But when you needed me is when I pushed you away." Thranduil argued.

Thranduil knew that Legolas remembered everything about his past, he also knew that if the ring was destroyed, there was a chance that Legolas would die.
He didn't want to lose his son, not the way Gandalf had told him he would.

But it was either Legolas, or the lives of everyone else in Middle Earth.
It was not something that any father should have to face.
But it seemed to Thranduil that he was destined to lose everyone he loved.

"After you came back from Rivendell after Elrond healed you, it was like welcoming home a stranger."
Thranduil's voice shook.
He could see the hurt in his son's eyes but he continued.

"You were different. You were colder, more distant, I was afraid that you would go back to killing again so I pushed you away. I treated you like any other elf instead of my son."

Thranduil looked pleadingly at Legolas.
"I have regretted everything I've done since the day you left, after the battle at Ravenhill.
I should have tried harder to make you stay, and after your mother died, I should not have distanced myself from you or your brother."

This made Legolas flinch.
He had killed his brother.
And Thranduil blamed himself for that as well.
"Please, Legolas, forgive me."

Legolas looked at his father.
His grey eyes were filled with pain.
"Forgive me."
Legolas said. "I caused you more pain than anyone else."
"No Legolas."
Thranduil grasped his sons shoulders. "What you did was not your fault."
"But I knew what I was doing. I wanted to hurt you. I blamed you for everything. For what happened to me, Thalion, my mother, and-"

He stopped. Thranduil knew who he had been about to mention.
Thranduil wrapped his arms around his son and held him.
Legolas did the same.
"I am sorry ion."
He said softly.
"I forgive you ada."

But what Legolas didn't know was that Thranduil was not just asking him to forgive for what he'd done in the past, but for not being able to save him from death's cruel hand.

°°°°

In another place a similar conversation was taking place between father and son.
Aragorn held Eldarion tightly.
He had lost his mother, and now he would probably lose his father as well.