Colors //Destiel Fanfic

Nine

Color Pencils

    Castiel's Journal 07/04/10:

    "It's been a year since I became Dean Winchester's guardian angel. He is a very nice kid. He really loves his brother, he takes care of him, watches over him, protects him, cooks for him, and walks him to school.

    "A month after the Fourth of July accident, his parents went back to work and Sam and Dean start school. Sam was still in elementary and starts 3rd grade while Dean started his second year in middle school. Dean still hasn't gotten used to his eyes yet. The first day was a complete wreck for him, he got art as an elective and the first assignment his teacher assigned him was to color a worksheet.

When Dean got home, he borrowed Sam's colored pencils but then he realized they didn't have any labels. Dean was under so much pressure. He lined them up according to darkest to lightest shade and tried to figure out which color is which. He kept doing this for hours and he still couldn't find out which color pencil is which. Dean threw the color pencils at the wall and then had a breakdown. I stood next to him the next day when he transferred out of art.

"Christmas was nearby and the house was decorated inside and out. At night, I sat across the room when Sam asked Dean if he wanted to see the lights outside with him. Dean didn't want to go outside. Usually, Sam and Dean would watch their house light up with Christmas lights. That was Dean's first Christmas not being able to see colors. He didn't want to see the lights if all he would be seeing was white and gray instead of red, green, blue, and yellow.

"Dean hasn't been the same. He stopped going outside, he stopped talking to people, he stopped walking Sam to school. He never participated in school activities, he would either make up an excuse or not go to school.

"He mostly stays in his room, playing with the color pencils. I stand behind him whenever he lines them up and tries to decide which color is red. I decided to help him out so I gave him a memory of the day he saw the world drain of color. Dean remembered the sweater Sam was wearing that day. It was a dark shade and Dean found the shade that matched up with the one in his head. I smiled when I saw him lift the red color pencil. Dean had no idea how to tell if it was the right color so he went to Sam's room and looked for the sweater with Power Rangers on it. When he found it, he compared the colors and they were similar. Dean smiled then went back to his room to label the color pencil. Dean continued this process with the other colors. He compared orange to Sam's toy car, yellow with the flowers outside the tree house, green with the grass on the front lawn, blue with his old converse, and purple with the gem on his mom's necklace.

"Dean slowly started coming back to his old life. Of course, he still can't see colors but now he knows which shade is which color. Dean always carried his color pencils around in case he sees a shade he doesn't remember and then starts comparing them. He is a very bright boy.

"Today he went to see the fireworks with his brother, not at the treehouse though. Dean insisted that they go to the treehouse but Sam was still scarred by last year so they stayed home. They heard the fireworks and ended up watching from the living room window. Sam saw the red, white, and blue colors flying in the sky. Dean saw the black sky with white light sparkling. Then I gave Dean a memory from last year when he could still see colors. I saw him smile and I thought to myself, 'I ruined this kid's life.'"

Castiel closed his journal after reading the entry from three years ago and then put it in a pocket inside his trench coat. It's nearly midnight and Dean's bedroom lights were still on. Castiel walked by their house and from Dean's windowsill, he saw a small cylinder with pencils sticking out. Then he saw a hand pick up a pencil and then put it back in. After reading the entry, Castiel realized how easy he had it back then, but that still doesn't change the fact that he did ruin Dean's life.