An Easy Friend

Chapter 13

I wake up to the sound of beeps and snoring. I haven't even opened my eyes and already I know where I am. The bright light blinds me as I slowly part my eyelids open. I am in the hospital.

My body aches in unfamiliar ways. I feel a tube in my throat and a pounding migraine in my head.

I scan my surroundings. I am dressed in a dreary white hospital gown and covered in wires and tubes. To my right is the door to the hallway, where nurses are zooming by. And to my left is Kurt. He's asleep with half of him on a chair and half of him on my bed. He's holding my hand.

I know what I did to get in here perfectly well. The only emotion I feel is disappointment. I shouldn't be here. I should have died. Those pills should have killed me. I don't understand what went wrong. At this point I start to cry, which alters my breathing pattern causing my heart monitor to speed up and Kurt to wake up.

He sat up groggily and then realized I had awoke. "Oh Allison" he said as he hugged me as tightly as he could without disturbing the tubes. This only made me cry harder. "No, Ally, don't cry. You're fine now. You're alive."

"No Kurt!" I said. "I shouldn't be alive. Fuck!" I cover my face with my hands because I could not bear seeing Kurt's expression.

"Allison, listen to me." He grabs my hands in his and looks into my eyes. "I need you in my life. I'm so grateful you are alive. I'm only disappointed in myself for not being a better boyfriend. But I'm here now and I will get better. And you'll get better too, okay?"

"I can't promise anything." My voice was barely a whisper.

Kurt's eyes got teary. "Dammit, Ally you will get better." he said angrily. His change in mood frightened me. "Do you know how horrifying it was to walk into your room and finding you lying on the floor, lifeless? If I had been any later you would dead right now."

I remain silent. I had no idea Kurt would be this affected. "Look, I'm sorry. But you can't leave." He grabbed my hand. "I won't let you."

–

You'd think a scare like that is enough to help you recover. But ever since my incident I've felt as empty as ever. Kurt has been helping me as much as is in his power. He sings to me and sleeps in my room and cooks for me. He's been nothing but a dream but I can't seem to get better. But I try so hard, mostly for Kurt. It really pains him to see me like this. He has become my motivation to overcome my depression.

And I will. Eventually.

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Fun fact, I am severely depressed in real life. Allison's character is loosely based off me.