An Easy Friend

Chapter 40

I slept terribly that night; partly because I didn't get to talk to Kurt and partly because I slept across hard chairs.

I was shaken awake by Shelli who wanted me to accompany her to her apartment to shower. When we stepped outside, we were bombarded by the paparazzi. I had forgotten how popular Nirvana were.

"Why are you here Allison?"

"What's wrong with Kurt?"

"Is it true it was a suicide attempt?" What?

We darted into Krist's car and sped out of the place. They can really make you feel like shit when you least need it.

When we returned, freshly showered and with clean clothes, the paparazzi were still there, persistent enough to get answers. Once again, we dodged their questions are ran back into the waiting room. It was the guys' turns to refresh so they went out.

After a few minutes of sitting around, I remember my purpose for being here.

"Do you think Kurt is awake now? It's nearly 10."

"Go ask his doctor."

So I asked and it turned out Kurt was awake and I could finally go see him. I slowly made my way up to his room, trying to think of what I would say to the most important person to me on Earth.

I knocked on the door. "What?" I heard an annoyed voice ask from inside. I opened the door and Kurt nearly fell off the bed.

"Holy shit." was all he said.

"Kurt, I know you weren't expecting me but I came here to talk to you and next thing I know you're in the hospital." I sat down on a chair next to his bed. Kurt stared at me with wide eyes. "I-I've been rethinking everything. I never gave you a chance. So I want to do that now. "

"Would you like to know why I'm in here?"

"That's not what I-"

"It's important to my explanation." he said.

"Okay then. Why are you in here?"

"Let's say my overdose wasn't necessarily an accident."

I froze. "Kurt..."

"I couldn't live with myself knowing I made the love of my life resent me. I don't love Courtney. The only reason we had sex was because she is very persuasive and I got caught up in the moment. I felt guilty right afterwards and ever since. I tried pushing it out of my mind in hopes of forgetting that ever happened. And then she's pregnant. And then you left. And I was stuck with a woman who was carrying my child but I felt nothing towards. I tried contacting you for ages. I wrote songs about you. I tried to get Courtney to leave. I don't know, it just all got to be too much."

His explanation left me speechless. The only thing I wanted to do was hug him and squeeze him until our bodies morphed and I shared his pain. I settled for hugging him as tightly as I could without interrupting the wires that were connected to him.

There were so many things I wanted to say but couldn't bring myself to do. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt at this moment but most of my emotions were sympathetic and confused.

We stayed like this until Dave burst through the door.

"Oh shit, I thought Ally killed you by now." he joked.

I looked up into Kurt's eyes. "Kurt's not leaving any time soon."

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