Me, Myself, and I (Complete)

Celebrity War

So, since I'm rising as a celebrity. Other celebrities are probably getting worried about their popularity. For example, suddenly, Ariana Grande just released a new music video which is "Focus" and so did Taylor Swift, "Out of the Woods". Today, I'm supposed to meet with Justin Bieber's manager so that we can sign a deal of a collaboration between me and Justin Bieber. I was excited. But I was hoping for Ed Sheeran. Or someone else that is not Justin Bieber. When I got the song that they wanted us to sing, I got like the bad part. More like no part. It was mostly Justin Bieber. They wanted me to sing "I see some shits, And not just your crusty lips". What the heck is that? There was no way I'm singing that. They also want me to say that Justin Bieber is my hero and my inspiration. I LIED!!!! I don't even like him at all. First, he's too much of a wannabe, second, he went from a boy, to a slutty boy. Then, Justin Bieber came in.

"Yo, what's up JG!" Justin said.

"Hey, JB!" I replied.

"Don't call me that. Cause' first you don't know me. Second, you're just way under my level. Third, I got a bigger penis than you"

"How do you know? and what does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know but I know it's real and it has nothing to do with anything"
"So, it doesn't make sense at all"

"Sure, it doesn't!"

"Then, why did you say it?"

"What do you mean?"

"No, what do you mean?"

"Is it too late now to say sorry?"

"Wait, stop. I see what you're doing. You corny af!"

"I'm corny. Well, you're horny"

"What?!"

"Oh, don't you know that we researched you and your perverted self!"

"What? That's not true!"

"Sure. And it's not true that you had cum on your face during lunch?"

"That's not true either!"
"Yeah. Okay, so if you don't want people to know this, then you have to do everything that I say or this goes out to the world and your career is over"

"Wow, and I thought you were stupid"

"Oh I am. Just not today"

"What?"

"Yeah, Today is Smart Saturday"

"What about the other days?"

"Tomorrow is Sexy Sunday. Oh wait, I'm sexy everyday"

"Okay.... So what is going to be now?"

"Shirtless Sunday!"

"Okay..... Ps. let's not have a meeting during sundays!"
"Okay. That's your lost. You're not going to see my sexy abs"

"Yeah... If you had any!" I whispered.

"What?!"
"I said yeah, cause' you have so many!"

"I know right!"

"This is what I get for being famous!"

"It's okay. You'll get use to it"

We left and suddenly, The Weeknd's limbo pulled over and picked us up.

"Hey, JG!" The Weeknd said.

"Does everyone call me that now?"

"Mostly. So, I don't have time but I know your secret of being a pervert and if you don't want this to get out, you have to do everything I say!"

"Wow, you sound familiar"

"You mean Michael Jackson?"

"No, I mean JB! Both of you are blackmailers!"

"So, you're going to sing this!"

"Come on and dance, then, I'll shit on you so hard that it'll feel like it's in your pants"

"Soooo... What do you think?"

"Okay..... There's no way I'm singing this!"

"But remember our deal!"

"FINE!!!!"

"Okay. No get out of my limbo, you might cum in here too!"

They literally pushed us out. Wait, no they literally kicked us out. But it was The Weeknd's shoes so it's okay. It costs more than this pants anyway. Wow, I got half a million dollars already and I still have my cheap pants. POBRE! Hey, I know spanish. Told you Mr. Rodriguez. After we got up, a private jet just landed like it was so cool! It turned out to be Ariana Grande!!!!! It was like in an action movie, she dropped the ladder and then, we hang on, and it just flew while we're hanging. When we got inside...

"Hi Arian...."

"Shut up, there's no time for that! have a colab. with me"

"I knew it! What do you want me to sing now?"

"Oh, you're not singing!"

"What? Wait, I'm rapping!"

"Yeah, here look!"

"That girl trying to have sass,

But I made fun of her,

Cause' she needed a plastic surgery,

To have a bigger ass.

And I'll cut her up with a cutlass,

And I stalked her,

And she went to the police,

And said "sir, I've been harass"."

"Again. I'm not fuckin singing this!"

"Oh but...."

"I know, you're going to tell the world that I'm a perverted and had fake cum on my face before I was a celebrity."

"Oh, I was just going to bribe you but I guess that works too"

"I'm so stupid!"

"Yeah, but I know other celebrities that are more stupid than you"

"Like who? Yourself"

"NO! I was just going to say JB but I guess AG works too"

"Ok, so can you land this thing?"

"Oh, I can't. So, here put this on!"
She handed us a bag.

"What is this? And why are you opening up the door?"

"Okay. Come here first (getting near the door). Yeah, this is a parachute and you're jumping off. BYE!! (she pushed us off!)"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

One hour later.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Justin stop screaming it's okay now. We landed like 50 minutes ago" Kat said

"Oh right!"

"So, what are you going to do with all those colabs. You can't do all of them or any of them like there's no way you're singing those songs"

"I know! But what can I do?......"

#Stuck 

 #allcelebritiesarefreakingcrazyespeciallyarianagrandewhomademejumpedoffaplane

#toomuchhashtagssorry

#JustWriteIt #firsts