Me, Myself, and I (Complete)

Fan Mails

Since the day my video got out, everyone is talking about the KISS. It was really nothing to me. It was a stage kiss that means, it didn't mean anything. Well, not to me I guess. But still. And today, I received like 1000 fan mails. And I actually wanted to read all of them. And I did.

JG,

I am a big fan of yours and is it true that you and Vanessa are dating?

What up JG,

My name is Julia and I loved your video. So, are you dating Vanessa?

Hey JG,

How was the kiss?

Hi JG,

Was that your first?

Sup JG,

Do you like Vanessa?

Hello JB, I mean JG

I'm sorry I'm not good at spelling. So, are you dating anyone? Is it Vanessa?

2 hours later, I read over 500 fan mails and it wasn't really hard because it was basically a question about me and Vanessa. And I was so sad that one kid spelled JB instead of JG, how can you spell that wrong, it's just TWO letters! And they call me dumb. But I tried to find any mail that doesn't ask anything about the kiss.

"Puma do you find anything?"

"Nope. All it says is about the kiss. And a three-wa... Nevermind, I got nothing"

"What about you Kat?"

"Nothing here. All it talks about kiss, kiss, kiss. And did you use tongue when you kiss her?"

"What the heck?"

"It's not me. It's another pervert here"

"Who's the first one?"

"You!"
"Wow, that was my fault for asking. Ok people, keep looking!"

"Oh I found it!" Puma said.

"You found a mail that doesn't talk about the kiss?"

"No, I found my bra"

"Oh My Lord. Why is that in the living room?" Kat said

"Don't give me attitude"
"Hey you work for me"
"And I can make you stop"
"Working?"

"Breathing!"

"So, why is that here?"

"Remember the director of the music video"

"Yeah" Lance answered.

"Yeah, we kind..."

"Move on! Keep looking!"

"This says Marry me. This says I'm gonna kill Vanessa. This says I'm gonna fuck Vanessa. This says I'm gonna black Vanessa" Kat reading out loud.

"What does that mean? I'm gonna "Black"?"

"I don't know. But I see that people hate her"
"Why? It was just a stage kiss. It didn't mean anything"

"Lies" Kat whispered.

"Kat, I heard that. And are you jealous????"
"Hell No. I don't like you like that. And if you don't stop, I won't like you at all"

"As a boyfriend?"

"As a friend! What a pervert!"
"I was just messing with you! Chill"

We really didn't find anything about anything that doesn't talk about Vanessa or the Kiss. Since, I see that people are really interested in this, I am going to talk in the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and tell him the truth about me and Vanessa. This is actually my first interview without singing.

"Hey JG!"

"Does everyone call me that now?"

"Pretty much"

"K then, what up JF"

Jimmy looking at me like bitch what???

"You know since you're name is Jimmy Fallon. So, it's JF"

"It's not funny at all. Moving on. I want to talk to you about Vanessa. Now, tell me are you attracted to her"

"She is pretty but...."

"You hear that folks. He likes her. Now, how was the kiss?"
"It was good but..."

"Ooohh, he really likes her. Now, do you like her for real?"
"Yes but as a...."
"Ooohh, it's getting real...... Now..."

"STOP! Look, I only like her as a friend! It was a stage kiss, it didn't mean anything. And she's not my girlfriend, I don't like her like that cause' I like someone else"

"ooooohhh. You hear that people, JG got a celeb. crush!!!! Who is it? Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, one of Fifth Harmony, Meghan Trainor, Jennifer Lawrence..."

"Yeah, sure let's go with that. I like a celebrity and not just a normal person because I wouldn't do that, cause' I'm a celebrity so' I should like celebrity, celebrity"

"Why are you babbling?"

"I am not. You are"

"Ok, so, now we are going to hear JG sing"

"Isn't this a talk show?"

"We'll change it into to a sing show then!"
After I sang my new song I Can't Believe. He asked me more about the crush. I didn't even know the answers so, I just made it up. After that day, my fan mails don't say Vanessa anymore. It says Ariana, Taylor, Selena, Demi, Becky, Meghan, Jennifer, Justin. Yeah, some people say I'm Gay because I'm asian so one said Justin Bieber on it.

#ihatejb #idontknowwhoilikenow #icantbelievenoseriouslyicantbelievewhathappened #ineedtostopusingtoolonghashtags