I just left the celebrity school and I'm so sad. I can't believe it, the time passed so quick. I didn't even stick around for graduation. I wanted to be there to mock Kaoly and Yolaidy that I'm better than them in every single way. What? That's not being mean, that was being honest. And I learned that in celebrity school so don't judge me! I really did want to stay (not really, the school was full of drama and bitches). At least I proved that I was the best. See, I learned bragging skills. Now, what's next for me? Oh yeah, I got a REALITY TV SHOW!!!!!! Well, it was supposed to be Justin Bieber's but people cared more about me so they changed it from The Real JB to The Real and better than JB, JG. I know right, long title but I like it. JB was not happy though. He was screaming about how he's more famous and better. But the boss said no he's UNfamous and UNbetter. I think he just added UN in both of the words. JB then took his pants off and showed everybody his dick and said that it's bigger than mine so, he's more famous and better and should get the tv show. And then.... The boss was so angry he dropped JB from his label and said "Oh Please, an asian dick is way bigger than that! You're like a 0.8 inch punisher!!! So, can you take your jockstrap back on". I was laughing mad hard but I tried to stay professional so I just pinched my ass. It's a weird way but it's a way. One week, no One day, no One hour, no One minute, no ONE SECOND later, we started the reality tv show and the show would start how JB showed people he's "0.8 punisher". I think it's a great way to start the show. Like who doesn't like to see celebrities dick. Well, if you're a boy no. But if you're a girl yes. And if you're both, it's a maybe, nah yes. We went to my house and started an interview.
"From the scale of 1 to 10, how smart are you?" director asked.
"0" I answered.
"If you could pick your own race, what would it be?"
"Running"
"I meant..."
"No, swimming"
"No, I meant.."
"Wait, I think..."
"Shut the Fuck Up. When I mean race, I mean the skin color!"
"Oh, pink"
"What?????"
"I want the race of a pig"
"OMG. DO YOU WANT TO BE BLACK, HISPANIC, WHITE, OR JUST ASIAN?!"
"Ohhhh, you were talking about religion!"
"No, I was talking about your race"
"Catholic! Yeah, I got that answer right!"
"OH MY... You know what let's just move on. Ok, so what's your favorite number from 1-100"
"L."
"Not alphabet, numbers"
"Oh, U!"
"No."
"Oh, you mean 1-100 alphabetically, then it's 17"
"Finally. You answered a question correctly"
"Oh, wait, that's a lowercase number. Nevermind, my favorite number is...."
"IDGAF anymore. So, what's your favorite food?"
"The one that I can eat"
"Okay... What's your favorite drink?"
"The one that I can drink"
"Okay....... What's your favorite outfit? And I swear if you say the one that I can wear I'll kick you in the motherfuckin' nuts"
"No, I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say the one that I can eat"
"You eat your clothes?????"
"Yes. Like this shirt (he showed a shirt that says "all you can eat")"
"That's just a slogan"
"The shirt has a name"
"No"
"So, do this mean that I can't eat it anymore because it would just be cannibalism"
"You're not even supposed to eat it in the first place. It's not human!"
"So, Carni-balism"
"Next question! Have you ever had sex?"
"With a boy or girl?"
"Next question!!!! Have you ever sucked a dick?"
"From a boy or girl?"
"WTF! Okay... What's your favorite subject?"
"The one that doesn't involve learning"
"So, lunch???"
"No, you have to learn how to eat and drink"
"After school???"
"No, you have to learn where you live"
"Detention???"
"No, you have to learn how to get in trouble!"
"Who's your favorite artist?"
"Me, Myself, and I"
"Who's your IDOL?"
"Me, Myself, and I"
"Who is dumbest person alive?"
"Me, Myself and I"
"Ha, I tricked you"
"Tricked me how?"
"You said yourself that you're the dumbest person alive!"
"So what?"
"So, you were honest"
"Ha, You didn't trick me. That means that I'm smartest-est than anyone in the continent, California"
"WOW. YOU ARE THE MOST DUMBEST ASIAN ALIVE!!!"
"What if I'm not alive?"
"I wish!"
#TVSTAR #InterviewWentAwesome #IHaveABiggerDThanJB
#JGBetterThanJB
#JustWriteIt #firsts
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Me, Myself, and I (Complete)
Teen FictionJustin Garcia is always getting treated badly because of everything about him. He's always ALONE, inside and out the school. Thus, he wanted to get attention, popularity, FAME. But when he gets all that, will he want to stay like that forever? Or wi...
