You Can't Love Him

29

"Alright I'm here," A groggy Jocelyn walks through my door. I had called her over here about an hour ago. Her dark hair was pulled up into a bun and she wore sweats and a hoodie.

"What's so important that you called me over here at," she looks at the time on her phone,"nine in the morning." She glares at me.

"I'm sorry I couldn't sleep. I have something to tell you." I pout. She looks at me annoyed and then sighs.

"Well then, tell me what's so important."

I take in a deep breath and then slowly exhale.

"I like Noah a lot." I say slowly. Jocelyn looked at me unimpressed. Maybe that wasn't the right choice of words. I just don't know how to say this.

"I already know this." She placed her palm on her forehead.

"No, I like him. Like a lot a lot." I didn't understand why I couldn't just say that I loved him. It's just three easy words Em come on!

Joc removes her hand from her face and looks at me shocked. Her eyes are wide and I swear her mouth almost hit the floor.

"Wait do you mean you love him?" She gasps. I bit my lip and nod in response.

The rooms quiet for a moment before a loud squeal erupts. I quickly reach over and cover joclyns mouth. I yelp as she licks my hand. I pull away and she lets out a lower shriek.

"Shh, you're going to wake up the whole house!" I warn. "And did you have to lick my hand? That's disgusting."

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place!?" She exclaims. I didn't have an answer so I just shrug in response.

"This is great Em. Are you gonna tell him soon?" She was way calmer now.

My eyes widen. There's no way I could tell him that! He doesn't even believe in love, he'd probably laugh at me if I told him.

"He would not laugh at you. He'd probably be shocked but he wouldn't laugh." Joc says. Oops, was I thinking out loud?

"Joc you know he doesn't believe in that stuff. I can't tell him. It would ruin everything!"

"Calm down Em. We will figure this out." Joc places a hand on my shoulder for reinsurance.

"This is bad isn't it." I sigh and lay back down on the bed.

"What no it's not! Why would you think that?"

"I love someone who can never love me back." Tears started to burn my eyes. Why did I only think of this now? Unrequited love is one of the most painful things you can go through.

"E, what do you mean. Of course he will."

"No. Since the day Noah and I first kissed everyone has been talking about him being over something that I don't know about. You even said he wasn't over whatever it is. He himself told me he didn't believe in love." Bye the time I was done with my little rant, tears had already streamed down my face.

Jocelyn gave me a sympathetic look. It didn't make me feel better at all.

"Look, I'm going to tell you this because I'm your friend and I don't like seeming you like this." She sighs.

"Okay." I give her a look to continue.

"Noah has not had the best life. Back in Australia his mother left him and his brother with their Aunt and uncle. His mother never wanted a child let alone two. She never cared for Noah or his brother. His father left right after Hay was born," Jocelyn pauses to make sure I'm paying attention and then continues.