False Chase

Chapter XXXI

"It's hard being left behind. It's hard to be the one who stays."
― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

XXXI

Let Her Go

I CALLED HER FOR THE NTH TIME, and she still hadn't answered my call. I felt frustrated right now. Did she change her phone number? I tried contacting her through Facebook, Skype and other social medias, but it seemed like she'd blocked me.

Everything was a misunderstanding. And what she knew wasn't the whole truth. Alam kong nakakagago na bumungad sa kanyang may kasama akong ibang babae sa kama. Pero kahit anong paliwanag ko, alam kong hindi siya maniniwala. Hindi niya pa nga ako napapatawad, pero may bagong kagaguhan na naman siyang makikita.

Ngunit hindi din naman pwede na sa'kin ang lahat ng sisi. Why didn't she let me explain? If she could just let me, I'm sure that she'd forgive me.

I grabbed a wine from the cellar and poured myself a drink, downing everything in one gulp. I paced back and forth, trying to formulate a plan.

I want her back. I badly want her back. I'm gonna go crazy if she doesn't come back.

Nilagyan ko uli ng wine 'yong champagne glass at nilagok 'yon. Hindi ko mabilang kung ilan ang basong nainom ko. I also lost track on time. Everything that happened was a blur. The alcohol had taken its toll, and I cried, calling out her name.

I had no idea how long I had cried. Then the next thing I knew, I passed out on the bed.

Alas dose ng umaga ay nagising ako. I woke up feeling dizzy. It took me a minute to remember that I have a problem going on. I still needed a plan.

And then I remembered something. A plan formed in my head. Kinuha ko ang telepono sa nightstand at di-nial ang numero ng kanilang bahay. I knew she was in her family house right now. I'd gone into her apartment, and I was informed she was no longer living there.

I hope that someone would pick it up around this time.

It rang, and I sighed nervously. Someone answered on the seventh ring. "Hello, sino po to?" tanong ng isang babae. Kasambahay ata nila.

"Nandiyan po ba si Ellise?"

"Teka lang po. Ibibigay ko sa kanyang ang telepono, ser," sabi niya. Narinig ko ang yabag ng kanyang paglakad, at ang pagkatok niya sa pinto. "Baka tulog na po siya."

"Can you knock again and wake her up? Importante kasi 'to. Please?"

"Okay po." Kumatok na naman 'yong katulong, at narinig ko ang boses niya.

Naibigay na ata ng katulong ang telepono sa kanya kasi nagsalita siya. "Sino 'to?"

"Ellise," I breathed her name. I really missed her. I wanted to see her so badly right now. I was trembling. "I'm sorry . . . please give me a chance." Nagmamakaawa na ako sa kanya. Sage Dustin Ferrero never begged, but I didn't care about my pride anymore.

"You've fucked up even before I could give you another chance," aniya sa malamig na boses.

Another chance? She was going to give me another chance? Dammit. Why did I have to fuck up? Why did that whore—May—have to come into the picture? I swallowed the sob that was rising into my throat. "No, it wasn't what it looked like. May set it all up. Please believe me, Ellise," paos kong sabi.

"Even if she set all these shits up, you could've done something to stop it. Don't bother explaining. We're already done," she said firmly. "I won't let you in my chi—" She was about to say, but she stopped and corrected herself. "I won't let you in my life again. Ever. Let's move on from all this, Sage. If you can't, then you can go screw yourself." It felt as if I'd missed something big, and that she was hiding something from me. I wanted to ask her if something was going on, but I knew she wouldn't tell me even if I do.