Break (A Kylo Ren Fanfic)

XXI

Cover by the lovely DahliaKenobi
✶

✶
How a dress is going to be convincing I will never know. Honestly, who is going to believe that a girl adorned in a fancy black dress is an escapee from the First Order? It makes no sense whatsoever.

Regardless, I still wear the damn thing.

Since there are very few women in the first order that are not generals or captains, there isn't really any female to teach me what I am supposed to be doing. Instead, Kylo is teaching me.

"No, you have to actually look like you are truly afraid and innocent," Kylo says to me, shaking his head in disproval.

I scoff at him, biting my tongue to keep from sending a smart remark his way. I bite my tongue a lot these days.

Currently, Kylo and I were working on my acting.  I have to be able to act like an innocent girl that just happened to get caught up in a mess with the First Order. I also have to act like I hate the First Order. Although I don't, I do have a pretty strong disliking for Kylo Ren and each passing day is grows stronger. I can just direct that feeling correctly to make it believable that I hate the First Order as a whole.

Kylo hasn't commented on how well I can act that part.

"You know what? I'm done for today. I would rather train with this," he says, throwing a knife at me. I catch it easily on the handle as I've learned how.

"Kylo, I'm still wearing this dress," I complain, glancing up at him from the knife.

"That's fine you'll have to learn how anyway," he comments, shrugging as he stands fully. He was previously leaned on a table.

He lunged at me and soon we are in combat, but both of us always fight with knives in such a cautious way that we make sure never to harm the other. The most we ever do is scrape against each other's skin only drawing little amounts of blood.

Today, Kylo is much more aggressive and he doesn't seem as cautious, so I match his fervor.

We clash and clamber around, not damaging each other with our weapons.

Eventually, Kylo pulls back and I stop fighting.

"This needs to be the weapon you are most familiar with. I know you like the staff but it's too large to be easy for you to use if need be when on the field. This knife can be easily hidden," he explains to me, twirling the knife easily in his hand.

"But if I'm supposed to be gaining their trust, wouldn't they search me first?" I ask, my mind swelling with even more questions about my mission.

He grins. "Exactly," he tells me. "That's why you need to perfect this skill. You can get a hold of a knife there once you've gained their trust. Of even make your own if it comes down to it."

I stare up at him, wondering how long this entire process will take and if I'm even going to be making it out alive.

Unexpectedly, Kylo lunges at me and knocks me to the floor. After regaining my focus, I roll over and knock him to his back, struggling to keep him down because of my dress. I grunt, frustrated as he pushes me over and is on top of my again, his knife uncomfortably close to my face as he holds my arm with the knife down. I struggle before finally rolling us back over and before I had time to think about how my dress can hinder me, I bring my knees up to hold his arms down. I place them on his biceps and quickly knock the knife from his hand, sending it skiing across the floor to the other side of the room before I hold the knife to his throat.

Kylo states up at me, shock almost overtaking his features completely. There's another emotion, but I'm too proud of what I just did to care. I grin down at him as I relax and sit back on his abdomen, tossing my knife to the side and crossing my arms in triumph.

"Impressed?" I ask him as he looks at me, not moving from his position with my on top of him.

He stays silent, the only sounds in the room being our labored breathing. I feel each of his breaths under me as I sit on his chest.

Finally, he tries to sit up, moving his arms out from under my relaxed knees and reaching for my hips, pushing me back on his body and then pulling him self up.

When he's sitting, our chests are touching and our faces are close. The idea revolts me for a split second before I get curious. It's actually thrilling to be this close with him.

His hands remain on my waist as our eyes remain locked on each other's. Our breathing is still deep and it pushes our chests against the other. I move my arms so that my hands rest on his forearms.

Everything about this moment is awkward and strange and perfect. It's oddly pleasing and I find myself wanting to lean forward and close the distance between our lips.

I shake the thought, remembering how disgusting Kylo is as a human being.

"You did well," he says lowly, not making any move to get me off of his lap.

I nod slightly and just stare at him, not knowing how I should be reacting or feeling right now.

After a few more moments, our breathing calms.

Finally, Kylo pushes me back in the gentlest way before grabbing my hand and pulling me to stand with him.

We are still close, our chest still touching and he doesn't let go of my hands for a good ten seconds. He releases one of my hands and in a flash, he spins me around by my other hand and reaches out with his free one. Before I can make a move, he had a knife in his hand, I'm pressed up against him, and he has a knife to my throat.

"You can never beat my Lyra," he says in an impossibly deep voice in my ear. "I let you win."

My breathing is hard again as he releases me completely, throwing the knife to the wall before walking out of the room.

That bastârd.

✶

✶

The writer's block was so real. I'm so sorry about the long wait!

But damn how about that?

Lyra must be missing the little action she got from bane I think it's time for her to find a new man ;)

What do y'all think?

xx