Loveless Ages

Chapter Eight

 It is the night before we plan on leaving Schlutonia and my grandfather has cooked my favorite dinner.

“So what are you doing? Are you planning on missing three weeks of school? What happens when you get back?” My grandfather asks.

“I applied for online classes.” I tell him. “I just have to do all of my assignments online and submit them and everything will be fine.”

“Do you think you’ll have time for that what with all of your self discovery and trying to find the cure?” My grandfather says.

“I’ll find a way to manage Grandfather.” I say. My grandmother smiles but doesn’t speak. She doesn’t really seem to know what to say anymore. We eat in silence for a while. I notice that I can’t really taste the food. I absently put it into my mouth, but my mind is somewhere faraway. I wonder what Josh will say to his parents to explain his absence. I’ll have to ask him tomorrow. His mother would go insane if he simply just disappeared in the night. When dinner is over, my grandmother clears the table. It has been a while since she slipped into a painting spell.

“How are you doing Grandmother?” I ask her. She stands at the sink and is washing the dishes.

“I’m alright dear.” She says. I help her by drying the dishes as she washes them.

“Are you sure?” I ask. She laughs.

“Do you remember that time you read that book when you were seven and you read that old book? Alice in Wonderland. You found it in the library and you read it because I told you it was one of your mother’s favorites.” She says.

“Yeah, I think I do remember that.” I say with a nostalgic smile. My grandmother looks at me for a moment and then turns back to the dishes. She is a very pretty woman. She has the same dark hair that I have. She also has high cheekbones. My grandmother also has this sadness in her eyes that has become apart of her.

“Do you remember what you said when you finished reading it?” She asks me.

“No.” I shake my head.

“You said: Grammy, one day I’m gonna go on a big adventure.” She tells me. I laugh.

“Did I?” I ask.

“Yes you did.” She nods. “My you are growing up.” I dry the dish in my hand and look at my reflection in it. My face is a little bit distorted. I set the dish in the cupboard.

“Yeah, well I couldn’t be seven forever.” I say. She smiles at me and then turns off the faucet.

“When I was thirteen, my mother gave this to me.” My grandmother says as she looks at a silver bracelet on her wrist. She unclips the bracelet and looks at it once again. “I’m giving it to you.”

“Grandmother, no.” I say.

“Yes.” She says. “I insist.” She clips the bracelet around my wrist. After looking at it for a while, I decide that it is the prettiest piece of jewelry that I own. It is simple yet elegant. 

“Thank you.” I say.

 I lay in bed an hour later. The moon is bright against the darkness of the sky. I walk over to my window and sit at the bench in front of it. I’ve spent countless nights looking at the moon from this very location. The moon has a more subtle beauty than the sun does. It isn’t blinding. I look down at the street from where I am sitting and notice a young man running in the middle of the street. It is a residential neighborhood so the streets are practically deserted at night. I lean in closer and pay attention to the body structure of the young man. His sleek full head of hair. It is Xander. I rush down the stairs and step into some running shoes. Outside, the air is crisp. Xander is now almost at the end of the block. I run after him. He is fast but so am I. I listen to my feet as they hit the pavement one step at a time and I remember the last time I really ran like this. It was the day Josh told me that he wanted to start a family with me. It seems like a distant memory now. I remember feeling as though I was suffocating. I remember feeling as though I would never be able to escape this place. I remember feeling like there was no way I could ever be happy. Tomorrow, I am leaving Schlutonia. I am making one of the biggest decisions of my life. Xander has sped up but I am on his heels. I step aside and fall into step beside him. He turns his head and looks at me.