Loveless Ages

Chapter Eleven

Though the lights are off, sunlight pours in through a window and the room is far from dark. I wake up before he does and I turn to look at him. He lies there on his stomach, the side of his face against the bed. He looks so calm and peaceful. Not even the tribal tattoos down his arm make him look intimidating. I don’t know if he can ever look intimidating again now that I know just how gentle he can be. I sit up and tie my hair up in a bun. My movements have caused him to shift in his sleep. I stare at him quietly, wanting him to wake up but not wanting to wake him myself. What time is it? I look around the room to find a clock and realize that it is eleven thirty. We slept in. I try my best not to make any noise as I gather my clothes from the ground and put them on. Xander groans slightly and turns over, still sleeping. I watch the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes before quietly leaving the room. The house is extremely quiet and after walking through it for a while I see that there is no one home. There is a note on the refrigerator.

Went to the funeral. Josh came along. See you when we get back. –A

I wonder how long they have been gone, and what time they will be back. After sitting in the kitchen in silence for a while I look through the fridge for something to eat and I decide to make myself some toast. Last night I did something I once never thought I would. I slept with Xander. Do I feel different? I’m not sure if I do. It was amazing and I felt as though I was on some kind of high. Being with him was unbelievable. After a while of sitting alone and reflecting I go back upstairs to his room just as he is waking up. He looks at me questioningly and then smiles.

“Hello,” he says.

“Hi,” I reply bashfully. I feel blush coloring my cheeks. I walk back over to my side of the bed and get back under the covers.

“We overslept,” I tell him, “And no one is home, your mom and Josh went to Estelle’s funeral.” He frowns.

“Why did Josh go?” He asks.

“He just wanted to go,” I say softly. I am laying on my side with my head rested on one of my hands and the other flat on the bed. I am at least a foot away from him.

“So we’re alone?” He asks, a playful smile stretching across his face.

“Yes,” I say.

“Then why are you so far away?” He asks. I can’t help but smile as he places an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. He kisses me deeply and then pulls away just enough so that he can look into my eyes.

“You’re blushing,” he says, biting down on his lip, “It’s cute.”

“Stop it,” I cover my face, “You’re only making it worse!” He pulls my hands away, laughing. I swear he only gets more attractive each day. He moves his hand to my chin and tilts my head upward and kisses me once again.

“I said it was cute,” he says.

“Can I tell you something?” I ask him.

“What?” He asks, narrowing his eyes playfully.

“I love you,” I say. Xander laughs a little bit and pushes his hair back.

“I love you too,” he says effortlessly. I almost can’t believe it. To love someone is amazing. It is a gift. But to be able to have the person you love, love you back is just miraculous. For so long I have been trying to accept the idea that I would never be loved. I feel a wave of pure happiness wash through me.

“What do we do next?” I ask him. He runs his fingers through my hair and seems to be thinking about something. When his eyes return to mine he smiles.

“This moment is so perfect…lets not think about what’s next right now.”

“Good idea,” I say quietly. I close my eyes and let myself live in this moment, where I sit here in his strong arms and nothing else matters.