Loveless Ages

Chapter Nine

Josh’s Point of View

Every single time I close my eyes, I see the explosion. One second the building was standing up and nothing was out of place. The next second it had combusted and everything inside was destroyed. Every piece of paper was disintegrated. Every person inside was blown into non-existence. Xander told me to get them out. “GO!” he shouted. I tried. I swear I tried. But in the end I didn’t have enough time. I remember knocking on the front door in a panic. I told everyone to get out, but two office doors were locked. There was some device latched onto the outside doorknobs that wouldn’t allow me to open them. It was as though someone had locked them in. Someone knew that a bomb was going to explode and they put some kind of device on the doorknobs that would make it impossible for the people to get out. One person was a woman named Estelle. I listened as she banged on the door and asked what was going on. She asked why she couldn’t open the door. There was a three-digit code on the device that was on the doorknob but I couldn’t crack it and time was running out. Xander told me I had only a few minutes.

“Please help me! I can’t get out! What’s going on?” She yelled. I tried to help her but I just didn’t know the code. And I was scared. The person in the other office wasn’t as panicked. It was a man named Carter and all he said was, “This is what happens when you play with fire.” What was he talking about? Did he know that he was about to die? Did he see it coming? I scanned the rooms and everyone that was in the building had evacuated. But then I saw this one woman who was passed out cold. She had an open bottle of liquor on the table beside her. If I hadn’t found her, she would have been dead. I lifted her up and ran out of the building and soon after that, it exploded. There were two people locked inside. Estelle and Carter. It was then that I looked around and realized that Xander was nowhere to be found. The last I saw him he was in a locked room with another woman. Oh yes, so there were three doors that were locked. Who locked them? By this time Malinda had returned from the little distraction that Xander had sent her on. He was smart for that. Malinda would have insisted on coming in with us and if she was in a building that was about to explode, I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate. Malinda was yelling.

“WHERE THE HELL IS XANDER?” She shouted. I didn’t want to tell her. I knew she cared about him and I knew the answer to her question would only hurt her. But I answered her anyway.

“Inside,” I said. And I watched her fall apart while I did nothing. I was frozen. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know anything. I was so surprised when he appeared with the woman that I saw in the room, the woman who was attached to the bomb. And she was his mother? What the hell? I don’t know what is going on anymore. I feel like I have become apart of something that I don’t understand. I will admit that I cannot stand Xander at all. But I’m glad he’s not dead.

Every time I close my eyes I hear Estelle begging me to save her. Every time it’s too quiet I hear Carter warning me not to play with fire. I couldn’t save them. There was nothing I could do. But now they are dead and I feel like it’s my fault. It is my fault. After all I did bring the bomb to the building. It was me who handed it over. I delivered death to those people and I was unable to save them. I look in the mirror and I don’t even recognize the person that I see. I was never this guy. I rarely ever broke the rules. I almost always did as I was told. It was boring, but at least no one ever got hurt.

I can’t eat. At the breakfast table all I did was push my food around. I learned something surprising. Xander wasn’t born in Schlutonia. During breakfast, Malinda, Xander, and Alexandria talked about things I had no idea about. Things like human trafficking. I realize that I have been following them and trusting them, but they didn’t even respect me enough to tell me everything they knew. I have a blind allegiance to Malinda because she is my best friend. But I’m starting to think that was a mistake. I hear the doorbell ring and I go downstairs to see who it is. Malinda sits on the living room couch and reading a book and Xander is nowhere to be seen. Alexandria answers the door and a man comes inside. They speak but I can’t hear what they are saying. I go closer and Malinda looks up at me, questioningly. She looks concerned. I’m not paying attention to her right now though, because I can now hear what the man is saying to Alexandria.