Loveless Ages

Chapter Ten

I run into Josh in the hallway and he seems to be rushing somewhere. I am instantly alarmed, mostly because Luna is nowhere in sight.

"Where is she?" I ask him.

"She's in her bedroom and I'm getting ready to put the moves on her," he responds. I feel my whole body clench.

"Not Janice idiot! Luna!" I say. A wave of realization washes over his expression.

"Oh," he says, "Relax. I gave her to Xander."

"What?" I ask, "You gave her to Xander?"

"Yeah, I wanted to be alone with Janice and I saw Xander walking by so I just gave her to him and said 'face your fears man!" Josh says proudly.

"And then what?" I ask.

"And then I ran away before he could give her back," Josh says.

"Josh!" I exclaim.

"It's his child. He needs to fucking grow a pair. Damn," Josh says.

"Whatever," I say to him.

"What are you upset about?" Josh asks, "I don't understand!" I walk away from him without bothering to respond to his question. I'm kind of afraid. I imagine Luna screaming her head off and Xander sitting on the other side of the room not knowing how to handle her and not even wanting to look at her. I go to his room and hear a faint noise coming from it, but it isn't the cry of a baby. It's a musical sound...the sound of a guitar. I don't knock, for I fear that if I do, the music will stop. Instead, I turn the doorknob slowly and open the door just a crack. It isn't locked. I am surprised to see Xander sitting cross-legged on his bed across from Luna who is sitting up with the aid of a large pillow. The lighting in his room is soft and the music is hauntingly beautiful. Most of his back is to me and he doesn't seem to notice that I am watching. I watch his hands slide along the neck of the guitar and then I look at Luna. She is staring at him. Her large innocent green eyes full of awe. Something resembling a smile is on her face. He's singing something. I have to listen closely to be sure of what he is saying because his voice is so soft. His voice is so calming. So relaxing. He is singing her a lullaby.

Everything will be fine

Little angel, you'll be okay

Life is so divine

You are loved

Everyday

Close those pretty eyes

I find myself absently walking into the room without even letting him know I am there. The moment I am witnessing is so beautiful I can barely stand it. I walk further until I am standing behind him and I sit down next to him on the bed. He turns to look at me and though he doesn't fully smile, I see the light in his eyes that I am familiar with. The light that makes it seem as though he has some kind of inside joke with himself. This time, his expression is different though. It is kinder. Sitting there with him, a strange feeling comes over me. It feels like a rush of energy that starts in my stomach, spreads to the rest of me, and lingers in the tips of my fingers. I think it might be happiness. The gentle sounds of the guitar still fill the room, but they become quieter as time drifts by. With each second, Luna only seems more relaxed and it isn't long before her tiny eyelids become heavy and then close completely. She is so precious. When we are sure she is asleep, Xander places a pillow on either side of her to prevent her from rolling too far in either direction.

"What's the name of the song?" I ask softly. We sit next to each other but neither of us is looking at the other.

"It doesn't have a name," he says, "I just said things."