Kylo Ren: The War In Our Hearts

Remember When

A/N
Ok so I know I normally put these at the bottom but I'm switching it up! The picture is me and Kylo Ren! (I took the picture down) I met him at Disneyland and completely fan girld! Can't lie! Anyways!! Let me know what you think of this chapter!! I haven't been getting much feedback so idk if y'all are liking it or not.

Enjoy!

Kylo Ren's POV

The council of Larson-9 had good reason to believe that there was a resistance spy within their walls but they hadn't yet narrowed it down to who they thought that it might be. They were hoping that during the week in Dasoka they would be able to come up with some more information.

I tried to pay as much attention as I could to the council and what they were discussing but my mind was on Naku. She had finally come to terms with where I stood and she had chosen to stand by my side, a decision that I was more than thrilled with. Finally, I didn't have to worry about her leaving, now I just had to worry about keeping her safe. I knew that she was more than capable of taking care of herself but she had also said she didn't want to be a shadow. She wanted people to know that she was important to me and that was going to put an unneeded target on her back. Once people figured out she was the last female Jedi known, they would be out for her head.

Nakari made me feel things that I thought were gone forever, things I thought I couldn't feel if I was on this side of the force. Just the way she looks at me with those blue eyes so full of love, compassion and understanding lets me know that she won't leave me.

She is the only girl I've ever loved and I'll never forget the moment I realized that I was in love with her.

We were sixteen at the time and she was even more of a spitfire then than she was now. We were both apprentices of Master Skywalker, a special circumstance considering he was the only Jedi left. That meant that we spent a lot of time together, starting out as padawans together meant that we were each others only friends. She came to me and I went to her for everything and because of that we grew close. When we hit the age where we started noticing the opposite sex, I only noticed Nakari. Even at a young age she was beautiful and in my eyes she was flawless.

She was so dedicated to becoming the best Jedi possible and refused to break the rules, even when though she did a few times she always felt awful about it afterwards.

"Nakari, I can't help how I feel!" I told her once she finally stopped walking away and faced me. "Why do you expect that of me?"

"Because it's wrong Ben! We are apprentices and are going to become Jedi one day. You know the Jedi law and you know what it says."

"I know what it says but I also know that's it's old as dirt! The Jedi died out for a reason and their stupid law is probably part of the reason. Just tell me you feel something! Don't let me think this is one sided."

She was staring at her feet but when she looked up her blue eyes were watery and a stray tear had fallen down her cheek. I gently wipe it away and she shakes her head.

"It's not one sided." She admitted and I couldn't help but smile. "I just don't know what to do."

"You can stop denying it." It took all the guts I had to kiss her but I did. I was so nervous and thought I was going to screw it up, it was my first time kissing a girl. She kissed me back and when she pulled away she was smiling.

"We can't tell anyone Ben. This has to be our secret."

"I promise." I kissed her once more just because I could, I knew now that she would let me.

It was three months later when I saw her get into a fight with a Zygerrian and get knocked out. I had never felt so panicked before and in my rage I almost killed the alien but Skywalker stopped me. He told me that was a path that I didn't want to take and to tend to Nakari. So I did. I picked up her limp body in my arms and carried her back to the ship where we made sure she was okay. But it was then, seeing her get knocked out and not knowing if she was okay, that I knew I was in to deep and there was no going back. I would do anything it took to be with her.

When we were eighteen we were both in love and had plans to secretly marry and be together but something happened. She never told me what it was but she said we had to stop seeing each other. She wanted to us to be right in the Jedi way, especially since we were helping Skywalker train his new Padawans.

I knew she loved me but she felt like what we were doing was wrong so I took it upon myself to find a way to fix it. That's what tore us apart.

The door to the council room opened to reveal Bracor followed by Naku, everyone's eyes went to them as she made her way to sit behind me. I feel her hand give my shoulder a gentle squeeze and I can't help but smile behind my mask, she still did that to me. She still made me feel like a young man who was in love for the first time. Like a man who would do anything for the woman he loved.
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I walked into the private room of my command ship to see Naku sitting at a table and staring into space. I close the door behind me before removing my helmet and setting it on the table.

"What's on your mind?" I asked her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I don't like not having have my saber on me. I feel unprotected."

I can't help but frown at her words as I take a seat in front of her. "Naku, I will protect you and you have abilities in the force now that you didn't have before."

"Yes but you're not always there Kylo." She avoids mentioning her new abilities and I knew it was because she was still coming to terms with them.

"Do you trust me?" I ask her and she nods her head slowly. "Okay then." We both stand from the table and I pull her into my arms before placing my lips on hers. She doesn't hesitate to kiss me back which makes me smirk into the kiss.

"We have a day on the Finalizer, right?" She asked and I nod before grabbing my helmet.

"We leave tomorrow morning for Dasoka." I can't help but smirk as she groans. "Not excited?"

"They wear dresses on Dasoka."

"You'll be fine." She stands on her tippy toes to give me one last kiss before I slide the helmet on. We had arrived on the Finalizer and I had to meet with Snoke, something I was not looking forward to.

"Oh... See if you can find a girl some chocolate. I'll love you forever if you do."

"I'll meet you in the room." I tell her while hiding my amusement and she just nods, obviously not bothered by my answer, before following the storm trooper who has her bag. I watch her go for a moment before making my way to a private room where Snoke's hologram was waiting for me.

"Tell me of your trip on Larson-9."

"They think there is a Resistance spy with in their walls but they don't know who it is yet. They will be joining us on Dasoka."

"And what of the girl?" He asked warily, his feelings about Naku were anything but private.

"She has chosen the dark side my lord."

He scoffs at my answer, "Do not be naive Kylo Ren! Has she chosen the dark side or has she chosen you? There is a difference and it's a fine line! Make sure she is on the right side of that line. I do not want distractions in the way of our success."