masked

#27

It's been three months and I'm starting to feel like I can breathe again. Tough is not an adequate word to describe how profoundly difficult it was to even get up in the morning for weeks.

It was even more excruciatingly difficult to stop with the drinking but once I realised Simon wasn't going to be at the bottom of the vodka bottle, it was just empty,

Yes, I still can't listen to certain songs or watch certain movies but it's slowly getting better.

I met someone, Charlie. The cute, brunette that worked in the library. We were on our third date now, if you don't count the times we hung out as just friends.

Charlie had brown hair that flipped over effortlessly, not a strand out of place. He always smelt like aftershave and musty books and he never wore black. His eyes were brown, a velvety deep brown. Basically the complete opposite of Simon.

I felt safe with Charlie, I didn't have to sneak around and bunk school with him. He would never do anything to put me in danger and he had his whole life planned out ahead of him.

But,
he was just kind of boring. There was no sense of adventure of excitement but I knew how much he liked me and I liked him too. Maybe I could find the love I had with Simon again.

Who am I kidding?

I'll probably never love another person like Simon Minter. But I can learn to live without him. That's what I'm doing. Today, I ripped up all the photos of us and threw away the teddy he won for me all those months ago.

It would take a little more time to stop sleeping with his hoodie, without it I felt alone. Charlie didn't know about him, he could sense I had some bad past but when I was ready, I would tell him.

"So, what do you say Willow?"

I looked up at the boy sitting opposite me, he was waiting for an answer.

"Yes, Charlie. I would like to make us official." I said, smiling. I wanted Simon, with his tousled blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes but I couldn't have him. So I said yes to the boy in front of me and watched as his face spread into a grin.

He left to go to the toilet for a second and I smiled stupidly at the small fuzzy feeling I was getting. I felt proud, I moved on. This was what I wanted.

"Willow?"

Holy fuck.

I blinked and he was still there. Standing above me, a slight smile on his face and he looked excited. Brimming with happiness and he was smiling at me.

"Simon." I breathed. His name felt familiar, rolling off my tongue easily.

He opened his mouth to say something when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I saw Charlie had come back and was staring anxiously at Simon. I could see why he was nervous, Simon was tall and had tattoos, piercing, ripped jeans.

"Ready to go, honey?" Charlie stammered, tightening his grip a little on my shoulder.

Simon looked between us, his smile dropping from his face. I could see him thinking hard and he looked so betrayed. Then it turned to anger.

"And who the fuck is this?" Simon spat out, glaring at his hand on my shoulder which Charlie hastily removed.

"Simon, this is Charlie. Charlie this is Simon." I introduced them.

"Hi, Charlie. Bye, Charlie. Willow and I have to talk."  Simon waved sarcastically, a huge smile on his face. It looked more like he was baring his teeth.

"No, Simon I-I can't do this right now." I knew if I talked to him I might forgive him.

"Let's go." I took Charlie's hand and walked out of the coffee shop door. Leaving Simon looking betrayed and hurt and confused. I took once glance back and he was still standing there, probably trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

I wouldn't let him come back into my life that easily. After all the hurt and lying he put me through? No, I don't deserve that.

"Who on earth was that?" Charlie asked, bewildered as we walked hand in hand.

"He's no-one." I replied, shakily.

When we got to the school gates, Charlie kissed me goodnight and I walked quickly up the stairs to my dorm room. There, I found yet another unexpected guest.

I sighed, "What do you want Tobi?"

He had stopped talking to me ever since that day Simon came to my room. He didn't even know that had happened so I was thoroughly confused to as why he just decided to ignore me.

It had started slowly at first, he would make up excuses to why he couldn't hang out with me and not look me in the eye like he knew something that I didn't know.

Kayleigh and Vik still talked to me but it was slightly awkward since the whole Tobi situation. Also they were busy with their relationship.

The only person who had really been there for me was Harry. He would regularly call me and check up on me and hold me when I cried. He would never talk about Simon and when I saw them together, he exchanged a glance with me to reassure me.

We also had loads of fun. Since we shared the same interests, we didn't fight over what movies to watch and what food to order. He opened up to me about never having a mother since his parents split up and I talked to him about missing my dad.

Tobi looked distraught, he had dark circles under his eyes showing lack of sleep. He was always so happy but his eyes just looked blank. I realised I didn't even know what was going on in his life, we used to be best friends.

"I need to tell you the truth." He said, clearly.

I frowned, "The truth about what?"

"Why Simon really broke up with you."