When Camila returned from the kitchen my heart was still pounding. I couldn't believe what I had said before. Sometimes I truly wondered how I blurted out some of the things I thought when I was usually so composed. Her calm response had been the only reason why I wasn't freaking out completely. The fact she had called me marriage material made me smile again although I didn't want to get ahead of ourselves.
With my girlfriend sitting back down on the couch, I knew we didn't have much time left until she had to pick up Lara. So, I decided to use the little time we had. I scooted closer to her and saw her brown eyes widening slightly. Without a word, I put my arm around her waist and cuddled up to the slender body. Nuzzling her neck, I heard her sighing quietly before reciprocating my embrace. I closed my eyes, felt the warmth radiating from her and took in the feeling of sheer comfort.
One hand of hers was gently stroking my back while the other caressed my arm around her waist. Inhaling deeply, the familiar scent of hers brought back so many memories. Yet I couldn't remember a time where we had been this content. Even with my struggles now I was more secure about our relationship with every day. And that was because of her. For the first time, I saw and felt her unwavering faith in us and me. That feeling was indescribable.
"Let's get a little more comfortable," she whispered with a little giggle that made my heart swell.
Camila lay down on the couch but pulled me with her so we were still snuggled up. I wasn't very good with words lately and felt talked out for the day. We didn't speak for several minutes and enjoyed the closeness of one another in silence. I appreciated her not forcing me and letting me calm down after my therapy session. Her chest was moving consistently beneath me. It felt unbelievably peaceful to listen to her steady breathing.
After a while, I began to draw little patterns on her shoulder. My fingertips traced the fabric of her shirt and barely touched the skin of her neck. I reached the spot that I had a certain fascination with: the base of her throat. Camila breathed in a little deeper. I continued my gentle touches on her collarbone and back to her neck again while my eyes were closed the entire time.
"Who knew cuddling could be so much fun," the younger one broke the silence which I didn't mind.
"You didn't like it before?" I asked surprised.
"It's not that I didn't like it," she replied as I lifted my head off her shoulder to look at her. "I guess, I've just never been with someone so affectionate," her voice spoke quietly as our eyes met. "But I definitely like it," she whispered and smiled softly.
It was that exact soft smile that swept me off my feet every time. The mixture of tenderness and sincerity in such a simple gesture choked me up. I was mesmerized whenever I saw it. I felt another wave of feelings crashing over me as I tried not to say something outrageous again. Before I was able to say anything, her hand caressed my cheek softly and she proceeded by brushing my hair back so it wasn't covering the side of my face.
"You have no clue what you're doing to me, do you?" I exhaled candidly.
"No...not really," she whispered. "Care to elaborate?"
"I don't know how to say it," I responded somewhat desperately.
"That's ok," her gentle answer made me want to verbalize what I wanted even more.
"I feel like...you're showing me what love is supposed to feel like," I spoke without letting my anxious tendencies dictate me and solely looked into her warm eyes. "I thought I needed someone to complete me. But now you're teaching me that I've been whole all along. I thought that love was supposed to make you a little insecure because you don't want to lose that person. With you it's different. You want me to be unafraid of who I am, no matter how flawed I consider myself. When you look at me like this, I don't feel insecure anymore. And I don't think I've ever felt that way."
