Dallon's POV:
I woke up around 3:00 and ran my fingers through my bedhead. I let out a yawn and looked over at Brendon. I don't know if anyone else could see it, but Brendon wasn't doing okay. When he would still down he would go into deep thought and then scowl and reprimand himself. He obviously doesn't know I know this, he still thinks I don't care. I'm worried about him though, he's obviously been lying to his doctors about his wellbeing. But what could I do? He'd never reconsider opening up to me after what I put him through. I thought it would be easy, shutting him out but it's been one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I didn't open up too soon, he was just able to open up to. Brendon was no reason in my mind to forgive me, I completely lead him on.
Brendon stirred in his sleep and I froze in fear. He's still asleep, go on, continue staring at him.
Brendon looked so at peace when he was asleep, his mouth was hanging open and small snores would escapes his mouth from time to time. Why did I drive you away? I thought to myself.
I pulled out my sketchbook and flipped to my last open page. I took the pencil off the nightstand and began to draw another picture of Brendon. I paid close attention to the way his hair was perfectly messy and tried to get his lips just right.
I finished my pencil drawing and added the date on the corner. I've got to get a new book huh?
I lifted up my mattress and slid the beaten up notebook under. The entire notebook was only pictures of Brendon, and if he or anyone else ever found it I'd probably be laughed at. I involuntarily let out a yawn and looked at the clock. 5:38. I crawled back into my sheet and tried to go back to sleep.
*After Therapy*
I made sure I got to the room before Brendon, because if I don't, I have to make eye contact with him when I open the door. I convinced Dr. Gaskarth to let me have to more notebooks, one sketchbook and one to write in.
After staring at the lined paper for what seemed like hours, I brought the pen to paper and began a note for Brendon.
The note was almost perfect and I read it over once more.
You don't have the courage to send that, it's just going to end up in the trash.
'Shut up, I'm going to send it... When I'm ready'
I heard Brendon's voice outside of the door and I shoved all of my notebooks and pencils under the mattress. I climbed under the covers and hid my face in the pillows.
Brendon walked in and I could feel his eyes on me. He walked away with a sigh, grabbed his leather jacket and left the room once again. What?
I climbed out of the bed and put my ear to the door. One the other side, I could make out two voices.
'Brendon come on! Let's go have fun, forget about him for two seconds.' Ashley stated.
'It's not easy to just forget about him when there is literally no way to avoid him, but I'll try' Brendon replied.
'Alright, there's a record shop three blocks down the street if you wanna go there?'
'This is why we're best friends, I don't know what I would do without you'
They both walked away with who I was guessing was the guard Phil.
I guess I have some time to kill?
I grabbed my notebooks and pencil from under my mattress and drew yet another picture of Brendon.
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you know what fuck school why is everyone so shitty
comment suggestions for future chapters b/c i promised myself i would do it but it seems like a good idea right now
