XV

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im changing this up a bit. from now on, my "format" of writing is going to change? idk you'll see in the chapter. this one's going to mostly focus on brendon and ashley. tell me if you hate it. oh and btw the italicized part is a flashback and has a scene of self harm in a way when you see *** you'll be good

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Brendon and Ashley walked down the block arm-in-arm. "See isn't this better than sulking in your room all night?" Ashley asked. Brendon turned to her with an expression of confusion and realization. He let out a sigh. "You know what, it does." Ashley smiled "There he is!"

After walking around the strip for an hour, Brendon realized they hadn't gone to the record shop like they wanted to. "Where are we going Ashley?" She looked at him and shrugged her shoulders. "I never really had a plan for where we would go." Brendon mocked horror. "A-Are you going to try and kill me?" He joked. Ashley pulled away from him and wore an expression of hurt and confusion on her face. "No! Why would you think that. I wasn't- I don't-"

"It wasn't my fault! Why don't you understand? I didn't mean to!" Brendon pulled her into a tight embrace as he pulled them over to the side. "Shh shh, Ashley what do you mean? It was only a joke" She only shook her head and grabbed his hand, pulling him somewhere. "Just shut up" They both walked in silence for the rest of the way.

"We're here"

Ashley had led Brendon up on the rooftop of a coffee shop. All of the stars were almost visible up there, Brendon was sure that if they were anywhere but Vegas he would have been able to see. "Ashley why'd you take me here? I thought you didn't know where we were going." Brendon asked confused

"There are somethings that I need to sort out and tell you. I used to come up here before I was sent to the hospital. It's just calm." She replied.

The two of them laid down on the cold cement, and gazed at the night sky. Ashley finally broke the silence. "When I was in high school, I started to have these compulsive thoughts. The thoughts were just so violent. I'd look at someone I cared about and feel nothing but the urge just to hurt them. Sometimes I would hurt myself because I was so afraid I would hurt someone I loved. I had kept it all to myself."

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Ashley sat in her room staring at the walls. Her wrists and thighs were now covered in fresh cuts and bruises. She tried to stand and winced, every time she would move, ten more cuts would reopen. Ashley pushed through the /temporary/ pain as she told herself.

***

She tiredly walked into her bathroom and started a bath. Ashley peeled of all her articles of clothing carefully, as to not get any blood on them. She grabbed her rag and began to gently scrub, wincing slightly as she went over her arms. When she was clean, Ashley closed her eyes and let her body relax.

It had been about ten minutes until Ashley finally climbed out of the tub. She wrapped a towel around her waist and rung out her hair.

After she had gotten dressed and blow dried her hair, Ashley walked downstairs. "Hey mom, I'm going for a walk, I'll be back soon." She placed a kiss on her cheek and walked out the door. The cool evening air hit her skin and she shivered. 'I'll be fine for a while.' she thought. Ashley passed her neighbors homes and walked into the city.

The city was alive. Cars and buses speed down roads. People laughed, people argued, people cried and she was in the center of it all. Ashley's head began to spin and she had a strong urge to hurt again. She franticly looked around to try and find some kind of relief. Her eyes locked on the nearest person. She ran towards them and pushed them into the street.

Ashley felt an unsettling feeling of satisfaction as she looked at the fear on his face. Another woman ran into the street and got them both to the pavement. Ashley's face fell when she realised- she had just tried to kill that man.

"You're insane!"

"Freak."

"Sick sociopath!"

The people no longer laughed, cried, or argued. Now everyone was focused on Ashley. She was in the center of it all. Ashley looked into the eyes of the man she had pushed into the street. His eyes held fear, confusion, and sadness. She tore her gaze away from his and ran.

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"And after that, people found me and that's when I was admitted" She explained. Brendon had been listening intently to her entire story and sighed, awestruck. "If I had known... I would have never-" Ashley let out a heartfelt laugh.

"I know Bren. I really do."

Ashley checked the time on her phone. 11:13. "Shit Brendon we were supposed to be back at ten thirty." They climbed own the conveniently placed latter and started running back to the hospital. Brendon kept falling over his feet, making it harder for the both of them to get anywhere. "Brendon are you drunk?" Ashley laughed. "Ashley I had a sprite"

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Ashley walked Brendon to his room after getting yelled at by the supervisor. The hallways echoed with their giggles and the sound of them shushing each other. When they reached his room, Brendon placed a kiss on her hand. "Oh and thanks for tonight, I really needed it. And it seems like you needed it too." Ashley gave a two-finger salute and walked off. "Anytime"

Brendon opened his door and cautiously entered, careful as to not wake Dallon. The light was still on and Dallon's bed looked strangely disheveled. Brendon shrugged and changed into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. Brendon reached over to the lamp in between Dallon and his beds when something caught his eye. A sketch book, notebook, and pencils were sticking out of Dallon's mattress, as if the had been shoved there in a haste. 'Don't do it.' He thought to himself 'That's probably private'. Brendon switched off the light and turned the other direction.

Brendon couldn't shake off his curiosity and turned the light back on, carefully taking the sketchbook out of hiding. 'Just a quick look'.

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sorry for not updating since 2009 but I SAW MELANIE MARTINEZ LAST SATURDAY AND IT WAS SO LIT SHE WAS GREAT AND I'M SUFFERING THROUGH PCD RN AND I JUST UGH

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