this chapter is dedicated to prince, who i grew up listening to. you've been such an inspiration and an idol, i know you're in a better place
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Brendon flipped through the pages of the sketchbook. He ran his fingers over each picture. They were all so carefully drawn, and they were all of him. Brendon tilted his head as he reached a page with tear drops scattered across the page. The picture was of him sleeping, Dallon had captured everything from the creases in the sheets to the way his eyebrows were furrowed together. Below was the date, 4.21.16. "Oh my god, that wasn't that long ago'. He thought. 'How far back does this go?'. Brendon stated flipping pages faster until he reached the end. In the picture, Brendon was smoking a cigarette, with a smug look on his face. 8.7.15. 'The day he got here?'.
Brendon flipped to a random page, and tears filled his eyes. It was off both Dallon and Brendon. Brendon was smiling up at Dallon as he fixed his bowtie, and Dallon was smiling back at him. Written in cursive at the bottom was, 'I think I'm falling for you'. Brendon let go of any reason to hold in his emotions as he read those words, and let tears stream freely down his face. The sketchbook hit the floor and Brendon put his head in his hands. 'Why did he push me away?' He sobbed.
Brendon let out one last cry before he wiped his eyes. His sadness soon turned into confusion as he began to think. 'What should I care, he didn't care, he never did.' Brendon's thoughts began to whirl and his head began to spin. He ripped out the last page of the sketchbook, and tore straight through the two of them.
Dallon's eyebrows furrowed together in his sleep, and he started to toss and turn. He stat up in bed, and rubbed his eyes. Dallon's eye's locked on Brendon, then on his sketchbook and ripped up paper on the ground. Brendon turned around at stopped as he met Dallon's eyes.
"This whole time you've been ignoring me, you've cared enough to draw me every night?" Brendon asked. Dallon was in shock, his hands were shaking and frustrated tears filled his eyes. "Just say something. Anything please!" Brendon pleaded. Dallon heard a second voice behind his somehow, it was laced with anger. Dallon looked to the ground, avoiding Brendon.
"You're so unbelievable. How much more will it take for you to see I need you here! I put my trust in you, and you ripped my heart to shreds. And then you have the nerve to write poems and draw pictures of me! All this time I thought I was me. I thought it was me who did something wrong to you, but now I see it was always you. You pushed me away because you were selfish. I'm done sucking up to you. I'm done!"
Brendon was shaking with rage and Dallon had tear stains all down his face. Brendon grabbed his coat and pack of cigarettes and slammed the door behind him. Now, Dallon let out everything. He screamed and threw thing across the room. He stopped as his eye caught sight of the sketchbook. Dallon grabbed it and began ripping out pages. One by one, each day he spend here destroyed. Every memory forgotten. All his time wasted.
'How pathetic can you be?' He asked himself. Dallon let out an insane laugh with tears still painting his cheeks. 'The only person you've ever wanted to prove yourself to, the person that willed you to be better, do better hates you.'
Dallon threw his mattress of the frame in a haste. 'The one thing he didn't find'
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Brendon ran threw the halls of the hospital, trying to avoid any guards. He got to the flight of stairs and started to the roof. Brendon felt the cool spring air hit his face and let out a sigh of relief. He sat with his legs dangling off the edge and lit his cigarette. He took long drags and gazed at the stars. Brendon didn't quite know why the stars calmed his so much but hey, if the shoe fits.
The city was moderately quiet that night, which Brendon was grateful for. 'You did the right thing back there you know' Dan said. "But I didn't mean to say I was done with him. I'm mad, don't get me wrong but he probably thinks I hate him now." Brendon replied. 'Good, you've felt that for four months. He deserves to feel it now, after all he's done.' Dan paused. 'I know you're going to feel guilty for a while, but he needed to know how you felt.'
Brendon was starting to come to peace with the fact that maybe him and Dallon just needed to part ways. This was a fucking mental hospital for god's sake. Brendon put out his cigarette and walked back inside. The guard Phil was waiting at the door with an annoyed expression. "Did you hurt yourself?" He asked. "No". "Did you try to hurt yourself?" He prodded. "Goddamnit Phil, no I just needed a smoke." Phil nodded. "Okay well I don't want to but I have to walk you back to your room."
The two of them walked to room 363. "Goodnight Bren, and please don't leave your room again I want to take a nap." Brendon chucked and walked into the room.
He inhaled sharply at the condition of the room. The drawings were ripped to shreds and scattered all over the floor. A chair was overturned and the trash can was thrown against the wall, leaving a mark. There was blood above Dallon's bed. 'Did he punch the wall?'. Brendon shook it off and started to clean the room. 'Saving his ass again'
When Brendon had finished scrubbing the blood off the wall, he looked over at Dallon. He had changed into a long sleeve shirt and Brendon assumed the worse. 'He hurt himself ' Brendon tore his eyes away and climbed under his sheets. 'I won't bother him anymore'
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somebody requested brendon find the sketchbook and i was like 'okay fluff i got this' but then i made it sad oops
