Just For Show (EDITING)

Bonus Chapter and Sequel Info

Zayn's POV

I hadn't slept one bit for the entire night. All I did was watched Willow's every breath. I wanted to make sure she was going to be okay. I needed her to be okay.

Seeing her the night before felt like a nightmare. I was witnessing what Willow had become and I hated it. I hated it because I somewhat blamed myself for it. I had seen her like this in public once before. It was at a club back in LA. She had seen me from across the room and made her way towards me. As soon as I saw her, she began screaming at me. It was clear to me that she was drunker than I had ever seen her before. But there was something else about her behavior too that I couldn't put my finger on. Then seeing her last night and the state that she was in, I knew exactly what it was. It was drugs.

Willow had gone down a path that I didn't know how to pull her out from.

By the way Cailin was talking, she had joined the club as well.

I watched her shuffle in between her sheets and groan. I imagined from the huge headache she must have been having after night she had. She held herself up by her elbows on the bed and turned her face towards me. The makeup that she had on the night before had been smudged all over her face. She slowly opened her piercing blue eyes only to look directly at me.

" what are you doing here?" she groaned as she tried recollect the night before.

I couldn't quite put it all out to her about what happened. I, myself, didn't really know how to explain it to her. How do you explain to someone how drugged up and scary they acted?

" when did you get yourself into this mess?" I asked looking down at her shaky hand.

Instead of answering immediately, she stayed quiet. Her eyes wandered off to the sheets that covered her fragile body. She glanced at the pair of sweatpants and T-shirt that I put on her after the shower that I gave her.  She noticed that I had taken care of her.

" when everyone decided it was okay to abandon me" she spat at me.

" but drugs, Willow?!" I shouted at her as I picked myself up from the edge of the bed.

" don't you play innocent! You do drugs too and I've never judged you!' she shouted back at me as her eyes followed me as I paced around the room.

" that's a different situation! Yeah, I smoke weed and do some other stuff but I don't do it because I'm trying to cover something up! I don't do it because I'm upset over someone" I tried explained to her.

Willow suddenly started laughing catching me off guard. I looked down at her confused and not really know what was going on. Was this the drugs?

" you really think this is all about you, don't you? Take another guess Mr. Perfect. It's not. This isn't about how much I loved you, it's about how much I hate you! It's about how messed up you made my life. Because of you and your stupid band, Cailin and I drifted apart! Because of you, I lost so many of my modeling jobs just because we were dating. Because of you, I blamed myself even more due to what happened to Cailin. Because of you, my modeling agency dropped me after we broke up. Because of you, I didn't feel good enough!" she shouted at me.

I took in all her words and felt like I was being pushed up against a wall. I hadn't realized that all those things had happened to her, so why hadn't I cared more before. Why had I neglected her feelings so much for so long? How did I not see what she was going through?

I continued to look down at her and realized tears had been falling down her cheeks. 

" I'm so sorry" I said as I took a seat in front of her.

" a sorry can't fix me anymore, Zayn" she cried.

" tell me how to fix you" I begged.

I wanted to help her.

I wanted to save her.

" I'm too far down" she shook her head.

I reached her hand towards her face and wiped her tears away. For a moment, so many regrets went through my mind because of how I treated her. 

My mind went back to the very first time I saw her. Cailin had brought over to one of our very first rehearsals. Her piercing blue eyes was what first stood out to me. The next time we met was at Liam's birthday. We both had had too much to drink and things happened. We were talking in the kitchen and I decided I wanted to kiss her. That's exactly what I did. Lucky for me, she kissed back. But the very next day, we knew that we would never work out. I was working towards a National tour and Willow was in the middle starting a contract to work in Miami for a while.

The first person Willow called after she and Cailin split their friendship was me. I immediately went over to their apartment and comforted her. She needed me and I was there for her. After that, I knew I couldn't leave her. I knew I was falling in love with her.

But then Cailin was in the hospital and Willow had known about the whole Carter situation, and decided to not tell anyone. It made me feel something that I had never really felt before. Disappointment. I could have lost one of my best friends and she had decided not to do a thing about it. This was a side of Willow I hadn't known before. I didn't want any part of it.

After the break up, I had only seen her maybe two times before last night. Both times she was intoxicated and drugged up. But I was to proud to do anything about it.

I was no better.

Willow deserved someone who cared about her and I wanted to be that person. I just didn't know how.

" I shouldn't have let you go" I whispered.

Willow continued to look at me with tears falling down her eyes. I picked myself up once more from the edge of the bed and stood in front of her. 

" I love you, don't you forget that" I said before bending down and kissing the top of her forehead.

As I began walking towards the door of her bedroom, I looked back once more. But something in me made me stop and just looked at her for a minute. I took in everything about her. Her piercing blue eyes. Her short blonde hair. Her red cheeks. The tears falling down her cheeks.

Something in me knew that this would be the last time I saw her.

~

there you all go.

Just to give you a little depth into Willow and Zayn's relationship. I've been in love with their story for so long, maybe I'll even write their story a little down the down :)

I am slowly working on the sequel. I'm currently on chapter 3. It's so good guys! I'm way too excited for you all to read it!!

The sequel for Just For Show will be posted on April 1st!!!!

love you guys so much and thank you for all the support!

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