Just For Show (EDITING)

Chapter 29 - " Kiss me"

I pulled on my fingers as I waited. I could feel my hand starting to sweat from anxiety. My eyes were glued to my hands and my breathing pace was fast. People around me were setting up the cameras and lights but I refused to look up. I didn't want to see their pity expressions. I knew what everyone was thinking of me, I didn't want that to get into my head.

My mind set was on a totally different level. I refused to let myself become the victim of this situation. I was going to come back stronger than ever and noone was going tear me down again.

We waited for the camera crew to finish their set up as we waited on the couch. 20/20 was going to be our first interview since everything had happened.

" I got my eye on you, everything that I see.." I heard Harry's voice sing low but loud enough for everyone to here.

Immediately the boys followed his lead and started singing along. I looked up to see them with a smile on their faces. One of the camera guys handed Louis a guitar and he started playing the chords. I knew what was happening. Harry knew me too well. This song was a secret of ours that was the one thing that could calm us down before an event. Slowly I let my voice follow the lyrics.

My hands clapped with the beat. A smile crept on my face as I realized that I couldn't have been with better people surrounding me. The boys looked at me with joy. The pity in Zayn and Louis' eyes were gone. Finally I had them back.

Only when the song finished did I realized that everyone who was working around us watched our whole performance. Only then didn't I realized that we had been filmed the whole entire time.

The interviewer introduced herself to us all giving us short hugs each. My stomach began turning, in a way that made me want to throw up. She first started to talk about our career and everything we had achived as a band. Then the questions they really wanted to ask came out.

" so how long had you been dating Carter Dane, Cailin?" she asked.

" I believe it started late August" I nodded after thinking back a bit.

" how did he treat you back then?" she continued.

" the beggining of our relationship went quite smoothly but after a month, that's when the violence started" I said looking down at my hands again.

Goosebumps started to rise from my skin as I remembered every slap and punch against me.

" when was the first time he hit you?" the interviewer asked

I took a deep breath in and let it out slolwy. No one had really ever asked me this detailed question. All they ever wanted to know was if it had happened before.

" It was the night of the VMA's. We were fighting about something and he was mad at me. That's when he slapped me across the face" I cringed.

The look on the women's face only made me feel worse. Pity was spread across her face.

" when did you know that it was time to leave the relationship?"

" obviously I didn't realize until I woke up in a hospital room with bandages all over my body" I shook my head.

" can you walk us through that night?" she asked.

I looked at her for a couple of seconds feeling completely disgusted. She didn't truely care. None of the reporters or interviewers ever did. They just wanted the story, the juicy details. This was the part of my career that I hated. I was obligated to tell them things that I didn't want to. Thankfully on somethings I wasn't allowed to.

" due to legal issues I can't talk about that night but even if I could, I wouldn't. To think back about that night brings a lot pain and I want to push that pain aside. I don't need the reminder" I nodded.