Semper Fi

In a Heartbeat

Olivia lay on an exam table while doctors hovered around her checking her vital signs and drawing blood to run tests. Everyone was talking at once and asking her all sorts of questions but she kept staring blankly at the ceiling. She didn't care about any concussions, fractures or anything else. She just wanted someone to level with her about the miscarriage. It seemed they were talking about everything else.

"Sergeant Benson? Sergeant Benson? Did you hear me?" one of the doctors asked.

"Hunh?" Olivia asked.

"Did you hear me? I asked how far along in your pregnancy you were?" she asked watching Olivia closely. She held eye contact with her and could tell that Olivia was not processing everything going on around her. "Ok everyone let's give Sergeant Benson a little privacy."

One by one the other nurses left the room and Olivia was left alone with Dr. Jorgensen. She studied the lady's features as she looked through her chart and closed the curtains to give them more privacy. Her hair was chestnut brown and tied back in a clip; she looked to be in her late 50's and was kind of short. Then again at 5'8, most women to Olivia seemed short. She actually reminded Olivia a bit of her mom.

Dr. Jorgensen pulled up a rolling stool and rolled directly over to her to try and talk to her one on one and level with her.

"Olivia, it's just you and me now. I have to ask you some questions ok?" she asked talking slowly and deliberately.

Without all the other noise and distractions, Olivia felt like she could finally concentrate on what was happening in front of her. "Ok," she said softly.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"No. I-I just found out a few days ago. I was going to make an appointment yesterday but I got caught up at work."

"Ok. Have you had any cramping or any other symptoms?"

"No. I don't think so. The last few days have been a bit hectic.....Is my baby gone?" she asked solemnly.

"I don't know yet. I'm still waiting on some blood work but in the mean time I want to do an ultrasound on you. I would have done one earlier but there are only so many machines going around and they are all occupied at the moment," she said giving Olivia a small reassuring smile.

"Ok."

Olivia was still out of it and trying to concentrate on any and everything else around her so she could forget she was in this moment. Lying on a table waiting for someone to tell her if her child was gone or not.

"If you don't mind. I would like to perform a pelvic exam on you while we are waiting for the ultrasound machine just so I can check the bleeding. It appears to have stopped but I want to be sure." She was speaking very slowly and calmly trying to relieve some of the tension and fear that was radiating off Olivia.

"Ok."

XXXXX

"Have you heard anything about Liv yet?" Fin asked Amanda and Nick. They were circling the waiting room away from other people at the precinct who arrived.

"No. Did you get in touch with Elliot?" she asked.

"I left him a voicemail. I'm going to try and call him again right now," he said walking away.

Amanda was worried about the blood that she saw on Olivia's pants. Nick and Fin wanted to ask but shied away from it feeling that it may be crossing the line. Amanda knew that it wasn't menstrual blood because of how heavy it was but her and Olivia weren't the closest so she was reluctant to ask her about it. Either way, if it was something female related she figured that she would want someone to talk to so she decided to see if they would let her in Olivia's room so she could check on her.