Baby, I Believe in You [Jordan Knight • NKOTB]

Chapter 23: Denial

Anne looked at me with an intense expression like a mixture between enthusiasm and surprise. I told her everything that had occurred this summer. From the moment Donnie drove up to my house to being on tour with the New Kids, I also explained my history with each of them, beginning with Jordan and Jonathan when I first moved to Boston from San Diego to being friends with Donnie and Danny in elementary school and finally meeting Joe as the group came together when they were known as 'NYNUK'.

"Anne, are you alright?" I lightly spoke to her, feeling a little hesitant as she looked distant while her green eyes blinked in response.

"Oh...my...god..." Her voice began to pour out in slow pauses. I felt her hands squeezing mine before she opened her mouth again. "Are you telling me, that this whole time you knew the New Kids on the Block your whole life and you never even told me until now?!" The tone in her voice was filled with disbelief, increasing an octave higher.

"I only kept it from you because I didn't want to you to only be my friend for knowing them. There were people who I thought were my friends, but they only liked me because I knew the New Kids. When I came to Berkeley, I wanted to have friends, who liked me for being myself, not for knowing a popular music group. I kept it a secret and I'm sorry. At first I wanted to tell you once we became best friends, but I guess I was worried." I started to explain my reasoning, feeling my hands released from her grip. My legs pulled into a crisscross position on her bed.

"You don't have to apologize, Steph. I understand why you kept it a secret, but you're still my best friend. I like you for being yourself, although it's a plus you know one of the biggest groups in music history." She nudged me against the shoulder, looking at me with a bright grin on her coral lips before laughing softly as I joined in too. "No, I'm serious though, I'm not going to change and I will keep it a secret from the rest of our friends, if word got out about this, they'll be losing it." For the first time, I didn't have to worry about losing another friend and I was happy to have a true friend like her.

"Oh, Anne, you're the greatest! Thank you!" My arms found their way around her, embracing her tight as she hugged me back with a wide grin on her face.

"Of course, girl! You're my best friend, plus you love me. So what's the deal between you and Jordan? A guy, one that's amazing like him doesn't just take you on a walk down at the beach and nothing happened. Also, by the way you talk about him, it sounds as though the two of you are together or something..." After we pulled each other apart, Anne stared at me with curiosity sparkling in her eyes. And I made the terrible mistake of blushing on command.

"Well..." My voice began as I let out a smile.

"Spill it." She shook me gently, overflowing with excitement and her ears were open. My voice began to tell her the story about the events that happened between me and Jordan the night on the beach when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Listening to every word of my conversation, Anne grasped onto her bottlenose dolphin plush as I gave her the private details about sharing a room with Jordan and told her about his messy side. Of course nothing further escalated between the two of us until I arrived of the part about our night together in Foxboro.

The whole time I gave Anne the details about how it felt making love for the first time left her with ecstatic giggles. She tried to contain herself by holding down her lip, but eventually the twenty year old Blockhead let out more squeals. Suddenly her excitement quickly softened after realizing the fact that Jordan and I were treading into the uncharted waters of a long distant relationship. Anne tried to keep my spirits up, knowing that we can overcome anything since we know each other for so long and thankfully we can keep in touch with letters and the wonderful technology of the telephone.

After the two of us finished unpacking our belongings, we decided to leave the apartment and go for a drive in the city. Riding in Anne's 1988 black Ford Mustang convertible, the perfect solution for the warm dry weather wind blowing through our hair, we went down to Solano Avenue the main shopping district in Berkeley. The both of us spent our time in our favorite apparel stores and checking out the local Pegasus Books store to pass the time before going back home and ordering pizza for dinner while turning on the television set to MTV to catch the Top 20 Countdown in the living room. We talked about the courses we are going to take a week from now when school is back in session and hoping our professors would be hard asses. But in my mind, all I could think about were the guys and wondering what they were doing this very moment, especially Jordan. I know I wasn't going to expect a phone call within this second and it didn't bother me. But I did miss him. I miss the feeling I get when he's with me and the knots inside my stomach become too much, the contact of his touch against my skin, his strong arms holding me tight and his contagious laugh filling my ears to the softness of his lips, and those burning hazel eyes that spark whenever he looks at me attentively.

'Hazel eyes? Wait a second...' I suddenly stopped myself from that thought realizing that my mind wander away from describing Jordan and there were only two people I know who had those colored eyes. It certainly wasn't Jonathan. 'Donnie?' His face remained vividly in my mind as the thought of my boyfriend disappeared and I couldn't understand why the sudden change.

'Face it! You're developing more than friendly feelings for him and he surely feels the same about you. If you weren't so dense to see it after all that time the two of you spent together...' The annoying inner voice interestingly informed me and I didn't want to believe it or even admit it. There was no possibility I would love Donnie more than my friend. That's all he is and nothing more.

'Can you seriously tell yourself that in the mirror?' I mentally cursed to myself and ignored the idiotic voice as I tried to focus on the television with Anne and angrily stuffed myself with a slice of pepperoni pizza.