Carry Me Home - A LEGEND trilogy (Marie Lu) fanfiction

2. June

Today is my twenty-seventh birthday. I don't really have any plan what to do today. All I really wanted to do actually is to visit my brother's grave again as usual, and share whatever happened for me since my last birthday.

I mostly cry when I try to narrate things. Especially the one ten years ago. It is the biggest and saddest part ever that I did let him know things.

What I narrated on that year?

A lot of things that I don't want to forget.

First of all, I let Metias know that I've grieve on the first year that I celebrate my birthday without him, celebrate a day of his birthday without his presence, and even got to celebrate his death anniversary. Even on that time, I still can't let myself believe that he's gone. He's already nowhere around this planet for me to embrace again and for someone to take care of me if ever.

I know for myself that living for fifteen years with his existence is a big and drastic change when he is already gone from the plane and face of the world. But in either case, I never felt that I'm alone. I never feel that he had gone. It's actually the opposite—I always feel that he is safe and keep me safe as well.

The other thing that I shared with him on that day, well probably every year as well is what happens with my own circle. When I say it that way, the topic is about my relationship status. The hardest one is the first year of course. When I got to share things about me and Day, even though I know that Day doesn't remember anything about me in the first place.

The biggest thing that I revealed on that year to him is how I encounter a miscarriage. It is hard to reveal it to him when Metias got to live as a captain trying to find Day and try to eliminate him if ever he got the chance. For him to learn that something happened between me and Day, it is like seeking for more of the trouble.

Just a month that Day and Eden flew to Ross for both of their medications to continue, I just learn that I'm pregnant with Day's child. It hadn't been long as well, two months later after learning that I lose the baby.

Maybe it's still better that way. Even if I got to give birth with our child, the baby will never know who his father is. He'll never have the chance to acknowledge Day as his father because Day will never know as well that something happened between us. Even if they met one day, I and Day met again, I won't be able to tell Day all about it. He just don't know me.

That's it. He doesn't know anything about me. All those feelings are gone, ten years ago.

And even if it is hard to let myself believe that that's how things work, I know that I've made the biggest sacrifice. I am condemned with grief and fear that I'll lose him that I uttered a very desperate prayer to a much powerful power above all of us. I still remember the words that I did mutter that causes things to end this way, I guess.

Please, I beg You, let him live. I am willing to sacrifice anything to make this happen—I'm willing to do anything You ask.

Maybe, Day forgetting about me is the thing that I've sacrificed in exchange for him to live. Guess, it's for the best as well. Everything that Day wanted to forget will always resurfaced the moment that he continues seeing me and especially as long as he loves me.

Now that his memories about me were gone, maybe we can both find our own paths in the future. And if we cross once more, then there might be really such thing as fate.

I've seen the news streaming down that Day and Eden is expected to return today in Los Angeles. It had been ten years since they have been gone. I keep myself updated about Day's progress in Ross. I always try to be always in touch with everything he does. And from those simple researches, I can finally see Day smiling as genuinely as I first saw him. Maybe much happier than I'll ever do see him in case he still has memories of me.

I can tell that there's nothing troubling him. Nothing haunting him. No problems trying to eradicate his existence and plan to continue living. He is just like the man that is so innocent and so bold to continue holding his head straight onto the future he wanted for him.

He became a man that he always wished to be and supposed to be, if I just didn't try barging in on his way.

I've spent a long time narrating things with Metias for this year, just like the first year. But still, like Day who loses almost his entire family just because of me, I know that I need to move on as well. If Day was able to live a happy life, trying to cope in with reality, I know that I could as well.

I received a call from Tess where we plan to celebrate my birthday today with Pascao. They've been together already. And I'm happy for her. I know that she was once very angry or maybe jealous with me because Day is in love with me and Day just treats her as a sister. But now, she's very open. She has a heart that has always been open with her feelings to everyone. She has a heart that I always envy from her because I could never have a heart like hers.

I was really already late with the time that we agreed to meet upon. I moved fast by the train station, so afraid that I'll be ahead than any passengers and was almost walking on the next block when I just passed by two people, relatives as I can tell with their features. Their features were familiar that I don't need to take a very large part on describing them.

I can clearly say that they were the ones that the whole Republic expects to arrive. The two person that I least plan to meet—Eden and Day.

I didn't stop even if we just come across each other. Until he calls me to stop.

He does catches up with me and when I hear his voice calling, "Hey", I just forget how to breathe and make a mental note to keep my breathing steady.

Day is dead, but Daniel is alive. He is Daniel now. Day may be gone, but I've known him as Day.

And he will be forever and always be mylight.