Carry Me Home - A LEGEND trilogy (Marie Lu) fanfiction

10: June

"Who had we been,before I lost my memories?"

Day's sudden question is like an atomic bomb, an avalanche that drops and collides with the ground, causing a great shift.

I suddenly feel some tug inside me. I don't know what it is but it is so hard to admit that it isn't there, to neglect that I can't feel anything.

I wouldn't really feel like this if it hadn't been for the questions, right?

A part of me wants to say: Go on, June! Tell him that you were together, that you cared for each other, that each of you was willing to give up everything for the other's safety, that you were about to be parents! That he could have been a father but then it ended some months after he left!

But the greater part of me says: June, tell him as plainly as possible. You passed each other one day and became comrades to build a government that you both wished for. Or, better, you hunted him down because you thought he had murdered your brother.

Even though both of those are clearly correct, the latter seems to be so irrelevant. It will open those old wounds that he has managed to get over with. And I don't want him to walk away from my life after knowing what pain I have caused him in the past.

"Hey, June," he suddenly says. He touches my forehead and then my cheek. "You've gone so pale all of a sudden." He lowers down his eyelids and I notice a pang of pain passing through him, making him look so sad. "I'm sorry. You know, I really want to know what I was ten years ago. I want to at least remember you. I told you already yesterday, right? You seem very familiar and I know that I've known you, yet everything is clouded by fog."

"You don't need to apologize," I blurt out. "I should be the one to say how sorry I am about what happened last night."

I see Day stiffening and then slacking back to lean on the cluster of pillows. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I was the one who lost control actually." He looks away and I thought I notice him blushing a little. "I guess, it would be better if I go now. The Elector wishes to see me as early as possible today."

"For what?" I suddenly ask. Immediately I close my eyes and look away, because I notice him sitting up, almost brushing off the blankets.

I turn away from him, my back against him and I can feel my cheeks heating up because of embarrassment.

I hear him laughing a little as I wait for him to walk in the bathroom. I wait for him to reply but all I get is the sound of the water from the shower. I am about to ask him again when he replies through the sound of shower, "Some propaganda works as usual."

"As usual?" I ask as I move on to the dresser to continue combing my hair.

"Well, what do you think the politicians want from me?" he asks.

I sigh. "You've got a point there. Of course, they'll want you to endorse your support for them."

"That's what I'm trying to say, sweetheart," he replies with a little bit of pride on his voice. So like the old Day he's always been. "I get to be their most famous celebrity now, spared from a poor life, because they know how influential I can be."

I am all done tying my hair the usual way when the shower stops and I hear him scuffling onto something. I wait for him to walk out of the bathroom door. When he does, he is only wearing a towel around his waist, his short blonde hair still dripping with shower water.

He notice me looking. He smiles at me and brushes his hand through his hair. The paper clip ring that I gave him those years ago catches my attention. He is still wearing it. And it makes my heart skip a little with the simple thought that he still has it and hasn't forgotten about it.

"What's with that ring?" I ask, trying to find out if he can at least remember its value.

Day's smile vanished into a surprise with my sudden question. He brings his hand in front of him and studies the ring on his finger for a moment before answering, "Oh, this? I don't know. It's just that I woke up ten years ago with this on my finger already and I can feel that it had been somehow important that I don't want to be apart from it."

He values it much. And it's all fine with me that at least, it has a sentimental value for him.

"Guess, it was given by someone so dear to you," I reply with a smile.

He smiles sadly and then moves to gather his scattered clothes from the floor. Instead of watching him, I turn around to avoid looking at him. The faint rustle of pants pulled into place fills the silence.

I wait for him to reply but all I get is his calloused hands, brushing my arms. Even though I'm already wearing my Commander's uniform, I can't help but feeling the tingle of warmth and heat he causes. Every touch makes me too weak and on edge because I need him so much. My hair brushes against his bare chest behind me.

"Maybe. Just look at how the Republic takes a good care of you and me," he remarks. His lips travels down by the locks of my hair and behind my ear. "The Republic's Legend and Prodigy." He then grows still and when he continues, his voice becomes so dead serious, "The Elector should know about what happened last night. I know that he won't let it slide easily."

"Yes," I reply, mesmerized still by how close we are and how intimate his embrace is. "He should know."

I'd almost forgotten what happened last night as he walked me home here, that brief encounter with the stranger threatening and warning us that our debts are yet to be paid.

"Will you stay with me?" I ask.

"Always."