Carry Me Home - A LEGEND trilogy (Marie Lu) fanfiction

29: June

The guards remain. I am not too dumb to not realize that I am still being followed and watched by the soldiers whom Anden had dispatched, and at the same time by those who are waiting for me to reach out before they get around to sending Tess's head to Eden as a present.

I try not to break my routine, discreetly keeping my thoughts and theories to myself. Any written word can be used as an evidence against me. Computers are also out of the question, since my own mail was used against me. Changing locks and passwords will not be enough to stop a group who have hired computer geniuses that could rival those of the Republic. Sharing it with Day, who've been so confused with his feelings for me... well, he's currently not an option. I don't want him to make a choice that forces him to leave his brother.

A long time ago, I surely would have made that inquiry. For him to choose one over another; with me being foolish and believing the words of my commanding officer who had formulated everything, with me thinking that he had been genuinely good to the core that he believed a disguised Republic who tried to earn his trust. I was foolish enough to believe that the few days we'd spent back then was enough to turn the tides. I was foolish later on as well, to think that the feelings we had for each other will be enough.

He is already confused on his own. Forcing him to choose helping me over the safety of his brother is the same cruelty that I had subjected him to before.

The Republic or the Colonies. War or the antidote.

It mirrors everything.

The Republic or the vigilantes. His brother or me.

The idea of bringing it up again sickens me.

I've made a map of every possible worst case scenario in my head. The safest place for everything right now is somewhere that no one else can properly reach – even with the help of a lie detector, physical torture, or whatsoever.

So, the worst case scenarios are already there with the corresponding consequences, which are worse than the previous.. But what can I do? Nothing is currently pleasant about this situation. A move might paint me as one of the terrorists and get me charged with treason, since someone is using every blackmail possible to make me part of whatever propaganda they are running.

I hate being this powerless.

But when the days slowly pass, and the five days asked of me slowly shorten into hours, I know that I can stop someone from dying. The guilt will consume me later, if I don't do something.

I have roughly nine more hours. Despite that, I still find myself hesitating. I can't believe what kind of friend I am, to wait until there is less than ten hours left. And though none of the soldiers tries to stop or openly follow me, I know that they are there, mingling and camouflaging in the shadows. The same thing that those terrorists are capable of; surely they'll stop my soldiers from rendering them vulnerable.

"Tell me your demands, and we can talk this through," I say to no one in particular, the moment that I make it through the alleyway where I received from them the warning concerning Tess's life. "I don't understand what you are really planning to do. But, please, I am reaching out to you right now, so don't do anything with Tess. I'm begging you."

There's no reply, not even a sign that anyone is listening. But the presence of someone there remains.

I tense up momentarily at the sound of a hard thing falling against concrete, fully anticipating some punches to be delivered. The sight of a gun skidding on the floor before stopping uselessly a few feet away does nothing to ease that tension, too. The people behind the shadows seem to linger, evicting any of my guards that will have absolute proof of me committing treason.