Carry Me Home - A LEGEND trilogy (Marie Lu) fanfiction

19: June

I remember that Metias told me that, 'Behind that brain of yours is a good heart, Junebug. I see it every day.'

I'll admit that I may be cruel. I was trained to be a fighter, to be part of the elite of the Republic. But eleven years ago, all of those things changed when he died, and I lost everything that is really close to me by heart and by soul. Because of that, I see that Metias is wrong about me.

I only save lives because they were important to me. I don't know what my instincts will be when it comes to a different person. That's why, I'm weird as a person.

The truth is, I don't know where I am now. But for Metias to appear now is an assurance that I am probably dreaming. He is dead for a long time already, so it's possible that this is just a dream. This is just a dream.

When he moves towards me, I took on his features. I can't imagine that I grow so loss when he left me alone that I've missed him so much already... every day. He appears just as the last time how I saw him, how I always remember him. At first, the background is nothing but a pitch room of darkness before it faded onto a familiar back alley.

Metias's eyes scout the area for a moment and just passed me as if I'm invisible in front of him. At the time that I will wish for my eyes to follow Metias's movements, it's then that I notice Thomas turning this way, on the same attire that he is wearing on that day.

I remember the time that Thomas narrated what really happened, admitting to himself and also to me that it was really him who did the killing of my brother, not Day. He just used Day's weapon in order to put on the guilt and case on Day's shoulders who should be living in peace before those events.

It's only when I hear Metias's almost shallow voice telling Thomas, "Don't hurt June. She doesn't know anything."

Anything involves him hacking the government database, him knowing the truth of our parents' deaths, him learning what happens to those who failed their trials, and him who keeps those secrets from me until his death.

"I'll protect her. I don't know how, but I'll try. I promise," Thomas replied.

I closed my eyes tightly as if I try to suppress any tear that will try to fall from my eyes. I clutch my own body, my hands placed on my forearms as if I am feeling a sudden coldness. Perhaps that coldness comes from my heart.

Metias died in the hands of Thomas who died with honor, but leave the face of this earth known as a criminal. Both of them, I know, wanted to keep me safe even if it has to come to certain instances that they need to create a very huge lie... because learning the truth will put me at risk. The two of them lying, nurtured me to be this type of person I am now, stronger than the June who was so afraid that when her older brother is to die will mean the loss of her worlds and seek revenge without fully knowing everything.

Without even opening my eyes, I suddenly hear the sound of running water. A young man's voice then asked, so soft and quiet, "We're in this together, right? You and me? You want to be here, yeah?"

I suddenly open my eyes in shock to hear those words. I already heard that statement before.

"Yes. I chose this," a girl's voice. Just like mine. My voice.

I glance behind me as I open my eyes. I saw how Day pulls June, who is sitting on his good knee, much closer before stating, "I love you."

But the June in the vision just back away a little. "No, you don't. Not yet."

Day then grips his hold on her much tighter and stated, "I mean it."

When the vision fades, I suddenly sunk on my knees and cover my mouth in an attempt to hide the sudden rush of tears and the mimic of my sobs. I don't know what's really wrong with me after seeing the vision, how I was before. How insolent I am to hurt Day's feelings every single time.