Carry Me Home - A LEGEND trilogy (Marie Lu) fanfiction

11: Day

Following up with what happened yesterday, I come with June to her work and meet up with the Elector of the Republic of America, Anden Stravropoulos.

Whenever I see pictures of him, I can see some sort of familiarity as well. Though it is very vague and it seems unreasonable, I can feel some hatred... jealousy, even, every time I look at him.

When June and I are already a few steps away from his office, I suddenly feel June's hand reaching mine. And I don't let go. Instead, I hold her hand, clutching it tightly as if I don't want to let go. I assure her with a squeeze. That's why when I receive an answer of squeeze as well from her, I try to catch her attention and give her a smile to assure her that it will be fine.

She tries to give me a charming and reassuring smile as well, although hers is hesitant.

"The Elector will be pleased to meet the two of you, Mr. Wing," a soldier dressed in a lieutenant's uniform comes our direction and salutes. "Commander Iparis," he continues, acknowledging June's presence.

June simply nods and I try to remain neutral with everything. And neither June nor the lieutenant dares to ask me why I've been so quiet and finally decided to act like a mute, given that I've just begun to get to know the soldiers in the Republic again after ten years of not being here.

The lieutenant ushers us through hallways, and at the very least possible, leads us to where the Elector might be now. He escorts us to the elevator and when it only leads us to another series of new hallways on the fourth floor, I can't help but getting bored.

If I'm given the chance, I'll just scale every floor of this building and find where the Elector is. There's more thrill, given the idea that I get to risk something. It just gives me the urge to try, you know? Even if I don't know why I have that sudden urge to do so.

The lieutenant immediately stops and salutes me and June. "The Elector is in."

June nods at him and dismisses him. She then knocks on the door.

When the lieutenant is out of our sight and gone behind the other turn of the hall, I turn to June and smile, "Is it really in your nature to make every soldier in the Republic scared of you?"

"It depends on how you see it," she replies, monotonous.

I sigh. "You even creep me out. But seriously, darling, seems like you get to knock me out so hard that I still fall for you all over again."

She suddenly stares at me, surprised and off-guard.

I thought at first that she will just let the subject go or maybe she won't mind if I say it so suddenly, like it's a common endearment. But she is surprised when I look into her eyes. It's like nothing happened between us last night, it's like it was the first time that she'd heard me saying it.

Well, I don't know, okay? Sometimes, my mind is just playing tricks on what I think. I just hope that my feelings aren't because I don't want to disappoint her. I want to trust her.

I want her to trust me.

"Come in," a voice says from the other side of the door.

Before June could grasp the door knob, I hold her wrist and make her look at me.

"June," I start. "I might never know who you were to me in the past. And we might never return to who we were ten years ago, if there's really a past between us."

Her brown eyes with gold flecks are boring into mine and I can see from her stare that she is begging me to remember at least even a few. I can't let her have it, if I will never be able to remember them fully. But I let her know that I'm willing to know. The only problem is... what if I can't bear those memories, once I remember?