Psycho

Day 16

I thought about what Jason said, and I worried he was trying to escape.  I mean, he's the leader of the most dangerous gang, he obviously has "eyes all over" and people who would help him escape.  But if he gets caught, his punishment will be even worse and it will prove my boss right that I couldn't handle Jason.

I walked into work early, going straight to my desk and going over Jason's file.  I read what I recorded, knowing Jason for sure has depression and narcissistic personality disorder.  But as I read through, it seems he might have cyclothymia disorder as well.  I sighed, needing to talk to Jason about it.

Jason walked in and we did our usual routine before I sat across from him and looked down at his papers again.  I then looked up and saw Jason staring at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"Your outfit," he commented.

I looked down at before back up at Jason.  "What about it?"

"How can you expect me to think of you professionally when you wear something like that?"

I rolled my eyes, stopping myself from blushing.  "I can wear what I would like, Jason.  There's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing."

"I wasn't saying it's bad...you just look really good," he complimented.

I couldn't stop the blush this time, my cheeks heating up.  I shook my head and looked back at the papers.  "Jason, are you aware of any disorders?" I changed the subject.

"What, you mean knowing what they are?  Yeah, I know the basics," he shrugged.  I nodded and gulped, knowing I had to tell him to help him get better.  "Let me guess, I have one?  No wait, more than one, many."

I looked back up at him.  "You have two that I know of, and possibly another.  I assume you know what depression is," I raised an eyebrow.  Jason just nodded in response.  "And then there's narcissistic personality disorder.  Do you know what a narcissist is?"

"Yeah, I've been told I am one quite a few times," he chuckled, though I'm not sure why.

"Well, you show symptoms of the personality disorder, and I'm diagnosing you with it."

"What exactly are these symptoms?" Jason asked.

I was a bit surprised he cared, but I answered, "You disregard other people's feelings, thinking you have more rights than others, can't take criticism...and the excessive need of admiration."  Jason sat there, looking away.  "You fit all of these, but I can help with specific treatments for this condition."  Jason sat in silence, processing what I just told him.  "There might be another disorder, but I need more time to really diagnose you with it.  It's a form of bipolar disorder."

"So...there's names for all the ways I'm messed up?" he finally looked back up.

I couldn't help but feel bad.  I was nailing Jason with all this info about him that he didn't actually know.  "It doesn't make you messed up, Jason.  It makes you human.  Everyone has flaws, and no matter what you say, you are human."

"Katie...uh...Dr. Hartford..." Jason corrected himself, making me grin.  "I don't think there's any way to fix me."

I sat there, thinking of his word choice.  "I'm not trying to fix you, Jason.  I'm trying to help be the best you can be.  To control what you have, at least a little better.  And although I'm not sure of one disorder and narcissistic personality disorder is treatable by more therapy, I can give you medication for the depression.  If you want it," I offered.

Jason chuckled.  "Offering drugs to a former druggie and current drug dealer?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I trust you, but not that much, I'll keep the supply and give you a pill each day.  If you want it," I repeated the last part, emphasizing he doesn't need to take it.

"What do you mean if I want it?  Won't that help me?  Shouldn't I need it?" he questioned.

"I try to help my patients so they aren't so dependent on medication.  Believe it or not, your depression isn't severe, so I can help you without using medication.  It's your decision," I explained.

Jason sat there, actually thinking about it.  "If I choose to not take the drug...will it be harder?" he asked.

"It may be more difficult, but it's more beneficial in the long run to not depend on pills," I answered.

"Well...then I don't want the pills," he decided, a bit to my surprise.  "I know I don't seem to care about all of this, and I pretty much don't but...I don't like being unhappy.  Yes, there's things in my life I enjoy, but I want to really enjoy them.  Instead of feeling numb."

I smiled at Jason, feeling proud about his maturity.  "I'm glad to hear that Jason...and I really hope I can help you," I replied honestly.

Jason nodded.  "Yeah...but no more of that happy place crap.  It doesn't work, and it's pretty much bullshit," he added.

I chuckled.  "Okay, I have other methods," I agreed, the sound of Mack walking in cutting our time.  "I'll see you tomorrow, Jason."

"Yeah...and Katie?" he asked.  I raised my eyebrows, ignoring what he called me because today has been a good session.  "If you keep wearing things like that, it might just help me be less depressed," he said joking, although there was a hint of his voice that was serious too.

I rolled my eyes and ignored his comment, handing the cuffs to Mack.  Jason was a lot of work, but I have a feeling it will be worth it in the end.

Sorry if this chapter is a bit boring.  But it is therapy and Jason was going to have to be diagnosed eventually.  So this chapter was a little more serious and I actually did research prior to this.  Sorry if anything is off, it's just what I found from multiple sources.

Luv ya!