Psycho

Day 6

I felt sick the next day, barely able to move. I didn't eat or drink anything yesterday, not to mention I got no sleep from not taking my pill. I felt exhausted but on edge at the same time.

I jumped at the sound of the door opening, snapping my head in that direction. I calmed a little though when I saw my tray being dropped off.

I got up, holding my head as I got a bit dizzy. I took a deep breath and stumbled over. There was a bagel and orange slices with a glass of water. I stared at it, my stomach pinching in pain.

"You need food! Eat!"

"No, you're almost there! Don't stop now!"

My eyes moved to the pill. It wouldn't stop the voices, but I could get some sleep and feel calm.  But that would be giving in, and I can't give in. Not now.

I took the tray to the bathroom and followed my procedure. This would all be over soon.

I threw the pill, bagel, and orange in the drawer and dumped the water down the sink. I then walked to my bed and lay down.

I lay there as my thoughts consumed me once again. My mind was racing and I had a big headache.

The door opened and I saw Jason walk in. My heart started to pick up its pace and I moved away. I went to the wall as fear started to consume me.

He stared at me. "It's okay, Katie. I'm just checking up on you like I do everyday," he said.

My body shook as he got closer. It didn't feel like everyday. It felt like he would do something, something to harm me. That fear was always in the back of my mind, but it felt amplified today.

I shook my head and crouched down. I didn't want him anywhere near me, but I couldn't do anything to stop him. That's where more fear kicked in.

"Katie, it's okay!" Jason assured, coming closer. I felt his hand touch my arm and I couldn't help but let out a small squeal.  He immediately removed his hand and stepped back.

There was silence, but my breathing was picking up as it felt hard to get any oxygen. "What's wrong? I've never seen you like this...you seem different..." Jason wondered.

I slowly looked up at him, wondering if he looked as concerned as he sounded. His eyes were kind and looking down on me. My heart seemed to be skipping beats, and I tried desperately to steady myself but failing to do so.

"Do you need something? Do you need help?" He offered. He was starting to panic, which only made me want to panic more.

I quickly shook my head, burying it in my arms so I wouldn't have to look at him anymore. Tears ran down my cheeks.

"Please, I know something is off today. Let me help." I remained where I was, knowing there was only one solution left at this point, and I wanted him completely out of it.

"If this is about letting you go, you know I can't do that. Especially not now." I couldn't help but feel even more hurt when he said those words. It wasn't anything new, I already knew that. But actually hearing it made it more real.

I finally heard the door close and felt a little more at ease when I turned and saw he wasn't there.

I wiped my tears and slowly stood up. I walked back to the bed, my breath shaky. I sat there, thinking about what just happened and how I felt. I was starting to think about taking the pill and today's breakfast again.

How was I going to do this? Knowing the result only scared me even more.

"You should be scared!"

"Don't! It's your only way out!"

"Is this how you want things to end?"

"Do it yourself before he does it to you."

I couldn't help but grab my head to try and escape the voices. Before I knew it, tears were spilling again. I felt as if I was crying about everything, but what was left? I had to keep going, and I had no choice.