Loving the fat girl [Book 1]

21 - Betrayal

21. Arya

My heart pumps painfully as I watch the distance between Seth and me grow bigger and bigger. His back so tense and taking large strides away from me somehow tears at my heart. I want to scream in frustration or hit something but I have to keep myself together. People are starting to fill the hallway around me. I watch them talking and laughing with each other while I'm standing here, realizing that I ruined that tiny bit of progress made in the matter of seconds. A few words and now we're back at the beginning.

I can't let this happen! I'm not going to be a passive participant in my own life anymore. Color me crazy but I'm going to run after this guy. 

Ignoring the looks I'm getting from my class mates, I rush through the crowd to catch up to Seth. I have lost sight of him now but there's only one way he could go. To the parking lot. Once I escape through the large front doors, I spot him again. He's almost at his car now.

"Wait," I gasp, out of breath now. 

When I finally reach him, I grab onto his arm and watch him twist around at the contact. His face is unreadable and I quickly recoil, taking my hand off of him. I don't want to make things even worse.

"What?!" He snaps but his voice breaks and he can't hide the disappointment in his eyes from me. I can see right through him which gives me a certain satisfaction. I wasn't wrong. There is more to him than his ice-cold masque. 

"Where are you going?" My voice comes out in huffs as I try to catch my breath.

"Home," he states simply and is about to turn around again but I step in front of him to block his way.

"I'll come with you." A muscle in his jaw twitches and I think I see the hint of a smile tug at his lips. 

"No, you're not." Within seconds his voice is back to its usual icy cold and he avoids making eye contact. He looks over my shoulder and then all around us students seem to notice our conversation and try to watch without getting caught. 

I start to feel uncomfortable and wrap my arms around myself. My hair automatically falls in front of my face but I don't bother pushing it back. Finally, Seth looks down at me again, taking a few steps  towards me. He reaches out for me but quickly withdraws his hand. He clenches his jaw, blows out a breath through his nose and pinches the bridge of his nose. Then he does reach up to touch my cheek. His fingers only touch my skin for a second but in that fraction of a moment, he manages to push my hair back and tuck it behind my ear. My whole face suddenly feels like it's bursting into flames. A wave of something inexplicable renders me motionless.

"Fine, come on." Seth sighs in defeat and starts walking towards his car. I follow and excitement rushes through my whole body, putting me on edge. I wish I could get rid of this constant anxiety when I am around him but my whole body reacts to him like it gets drunk of just being close to him. 

As he slips into his car, I make sure to copy him as gracefully as possible and hope to god that he doesn't see my shirt rise up over my hip as I climb into the passenger seat. 

Instead of starting the engine, he leans back into his seat and puts his face in his hands, sighing. I can't help but glance at his bicep flexing as he does it but what catches my attention most are his trembling lips. I notice them the second he lets his hands drop down on his lap.

"Did I fuck everything up now?" He asks, barely able to look at me and I give him a sad smile, shaking my head.

"No." There's nothing else I can say but it seems to be enough as he grants me a real smile. A smile that brightens up his whole face and creates tiny dimples on his cheeks. My hand moves on its own account as it reaches up to touch his face. Seth is tense at first but soon he leans into my touch.