Loving the fat girl [Book 1]

31 - It still hurts

31. Arya

Being on your own is extremely quiet. As soon as I had closed the door behind me, I felt like all noise was cancelled out. I lay awake in bed now and even though there is traffic right outside my window and my downstairs neighbor is playing European techno, the silence overwhelms me. My thoughts are too loud. It is Friday and I had slept during the drive here so now I am wide awake.

I think that maybe I should start unpacking my things. Boxes are piling up next to my bed. I never thought that I had a lot of stuff but seeing it next to me like this; I remember all my books, art supplies, clothes that I had bought before being taken to the youth home. Memorabilia of my past. Unpacking is going to have to wait.

I have been texting Sam for the past thirty minutes. He's working tonight... So visiting him isn't an option either.

Maybe I should just go for a stroll. Downtown is only a five minute walk away from my flat and a lot has probably changed. Mel, my boss from the art supply store, had called me about six months ago to tell me that she had remodeled the store. So I could probably check that out. It is probably closed by now but Mel usually stays after hours to clean everything up or prepare for the next day.

It's a plan.

I grab my leather jacket and slip on ballet flats. I must admit, online shopping has great advantages. Over the past few months I have found great plus-size stores that offer affordable clothing and I feel a lot better in actually fitting clothes. After I had realized what size clothes I actually need and what size I had been wearing, I wasn't shocked that I had been wearing ill-fitting clothes for the longest time. No wonder I felt awful in everything I wore.

It was chilly outside but not extremely cold and when I start walking, it feels comfortable.

As I walk into the city, I really realize that it's Friday night. Fancy dressed people everywhere. People who are coming from dinner or going to the club. Young people, old people, people who walk their dogs. But no familiar faces yet. I head straight for the art store because I'm ready to talk to someone who knows me... really knows me.

As expected lights are still on in the art store. I knock twice and let myself in. The familiar sound of bells chimes as I open and close the door. Mel is obviously working in the back as I hear her cleaning something. I peak my head around the corner and see her washing out some paint brushes. She turns around when I clear my throat and an expression of shock washes over her face.

I gasp.

"Mel! Look at you!" I exclaim as she drops the paint brushes. "You didn't tell me you were pregnant!"

Mel charges towards me and slings her arms around my neck, "I didn't know you were back! You didn't tell me that either! How are you? How have you been?" She steps back but leaves her hands on my shoulders. "When can you start working again?"

I giggle and hug her once more.

"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you. I am great. Really happy to be back. I've been... well. And I'll start whenever you'll have me back. I need the money to be honest and I can't think of a better place to work."

"Well then you're starting on Monday! Same schedule as before." She grins at me, clapping her hands together. "Now I'll make us some tea and I'll tell you all about this medicine ball", she says pointing to her stomach.

Over tea and cookies Mel tells me everything that I have missed. Apparently she met the perfect man right after I had left. She closed down the shop over Christmas and New Years and spent it with him in New York. They obviously love each other. He moved in with her so she could keep her store as he is a free-lance web designer who can work from home. When they got back from New York he proposed. The original plan was to get married in May this year but by then Mel had already been four months pregnant. They're still going strong now and Mel could have the baby any day now.