BUTTERFLY

V

Butterfly

(Pt.5)

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  It's done. We're done. I did it. I broke up with him. I broke his heart. Job well done Jeon Jungkook. He'll find someone better. Better than me. Someone who'll love him more than I do. Someone who'll take care of him. Someone who's not going to leave him just because he's afraid.

I'm scared. I'm so, so scared. I'm a coward, I know, but it's the only way. I can't leave him alone. I want him to find someone. Someone who will stay. That's not me. Sooner or later, i'll be.. leaving. For good.

"Thank you, Seokjin-hyung."- I told him. He stood infront of me and grab both of my shoulders.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry."

"No, hyung. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got you into this mess. I'm so sorry, I'm a coward, I'm sorry--"

"Jungkook, no. You shouldn't. You just did what you thought is the right thing to do. You're not a coward, okay? You did this because you love him.. You don't want to see him suffer. You're the strongest person I've ever met, Jungkook."

I smiled, though the tears made it hard for me. I hope he got the message of how grateful I am for meeting him, for always being here at my side whenever i needed him.

"You should go, hyung." I told him.

"I cant just leave you."

"Hyung, I'm fine. Besides, Yoongi-hyung's waiting for you, right?"

"I don't care about that old lazy-ass."

"Ugh, hyung, you're older than him."

"Hush! We don't speak of my age."

I laughed at him. "Atleast i made you laugh."

"Go on hyung. I'm gonna be fine here. I'm just going to finish something."

He looks hesitant, but he nodded, "please tell Yoongi-hyung my thank you, and I'm sorry."

He nodded once more, before he got out of my studio. Leaving me alone.

I sat down infront of the mirror, and stare at myself. Me.. me, whose days are already counted. Me, who had just debuted as an idol will be leaving so soon. Me, who had given him nothing but heart ache, and broken promises. Me, a coward. A coward who would just going to escape.

"You have a brain tumor."

That's what the doctor told me a month ago when i've gone there to have myself checked up because of what i thought was just a simple headache.

Those words.. those words felt like I've been struck by a lightning. It was like every little thing that happened to me, flashed right before my very eye.

My mom, my dad.. Taehyung's parents.. them.. they were all smiling at me.. and Taehyung.. my Taehyung..

What should I do? I can't just.. just leave him.. I love him.. love him so much.. it hurts to see him hurting because of me. But I have to do that. I have to even though I don't want to. I don't want to leave him, I don't want to give him to anyone, to anybody. I don't want him to love anybody else but me. He's mine. He is all mine.. but I'd rather see him happy with somebody else than to see him suffer because I'm dying. I know he loves me too much, he wouldn't left me even if I say so, and I love him, I love him so much.. I want to give him everything, that's why I'm working so hard.. so I could give back and repay him for everything he gave to me.

I love him, that's why I hurt him. I had to hurt him.. its the only way for him to leave me.  Knowing him, he wouldn't leave just because I told him to. That baby of mine is such a hard headed one, but I love him for that.

I stood up, and gazed at the window, its raining..

Taehyung.. I'm so sorry. Please be happy. Please find someone better. Please just.. just forget about me. I don't have your heart anymore, I'm letting you go. I'm now letting you go because you deserve so much more. And I can't give you more because I'm dying..

.. and please know that you have my heart.. you have it.. its up to you if you're going to keep it or throw it away ..

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Whaaaaa~ what's this?

This isn't what I'm planning to !

Anyway, hope you like it ^_^

#ARMYsILoveYou ♥