BUTTERFLY

VIII

Butterfly

(Pt.8)

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I stared at them. At him.. he looks so happy.. he's smiling, and for once I think I've done something good for him.

"Kook-ah."

I turned to look at Seokjin-hyung. "Yes, hyung?"

"Aren't we going home?"-he asked.

Home? My home is over there.. having fun with someone that is not me. But what should I do? He deserves to be happy.. he deserves to be loved by someone who would never leave him.

"C-can we stay.. please? Just for 5 more minutes. I-I just want to see him."-I told him.

"Jungkook, y-you're just hurting yourself."- he insists.

"No hyung. Taehyung is-- he is my pain reliever. I just want to see him this way. I just want to see him happy. Please, hyung.. just 5 more minutes." -I pleaded.

He pursed his lips, and hesitantly nodded at me. I glanced back at Taehyung and Jimin who are playing with a puppy here on the park.

We were driving back from the hospital, when I saw them. It hurts me, seeing him with another guy. I badly wanted to run to him and pull him to me, hug him, kiss him, tell him I'm sorry, and I want him back. But I didn't .. because I can't, because I shouldn't.

  I felt something wet fell to my lap.. it is coming from my face.. my eyes.. I didn't even noticed that I am crying..

"Taehyung.."- I whispered. "I'm so sorry.. I love you. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. I love you, I love you.. I'm sorry.. Taehyung.. baby.. I love you, I'm sorry." -I chanted as if somehow he'll hear me..

Seokjin-hyung wrapped his arms around me.. "Jungkook, stop crying now please.. everything's gonna be alright.."

"H-hyung.. let's go.." -I  told him. He nodded, and let go of me to start the car's engine.

I looked at Taehyung for one last time, then at the same time, he glanced at my direction, I could tell that he saw me because of the way his eyes grew wider.. I hurriedly closed the car's window.. though I still could see that he's staring at me..

---

"Taehyung?"-Jimin called out.

I turned to look at him.. "y-yes?"

"Are you okay? You look like you have just seen a ghost."-he asked.

"I-I'm alright."-I answered, though I'm not really sure myself.

I glanced at the retreating car from the distance. It can't be him? Right? And even if it's him.. he wouldn't be here because of me.. I might be hallucinating.. or just imagining things.

"Are you sure? You want to go back home?"

"Please?"

"Yeah, sure."

The drive to his apartment was silent, and as we reached his pad, I immediately went upstairs straight to my temporary room. I closed the door and lean on it. Because I can't move my legs anymore. I can feel my chest suddenly tightening. Its like.. I can't breath, and tears are beginning to form at the corner of my eyes. Why can't I just.. just forget him? Why should I feel this pain? Why should I feel this.. if I hadn't done anything but to love him? Why did he leave me? Why.. why do I miss him? When I saw that man.. that man on the car.. even though I wasn't sure if it was him.. I wanted to run and confirm if it's him.. and what Taehyung? What? Hurt yourself more?

Why won't you just give up on him? He doesn't love you anymore. He practically just broke your heart into pieces and you're still hoping? F*ck Taehyung! Just give up already!!