My Kitchen Sink

To Everything I Once Hated that I know Cherish

I'm keeping you like souvenirs
Polished trophies
Broken dreams
Sitting upon a shelf
Whimpering
And whispering evil things to me
Past your tarnished silver
Past your heartfelt lies
Sits a shelf of childhood beliefs
That the world is good
That no one is bad
That everything works out
But now I live in this world of tarnish and rust
These souvenirs are only knick-knacks
My memories are only cheap and replaceable
And I can't find the beloved meanings behind the wear
Tired teddy bears stare at me
Dolls count my breaths while I sleep
The guidance of my night light was once removed
Soccer trophies disbanded for things like "first kiss" or "actually did all the laundry before running out of clothes"
And when did accomplishments become so mediocre
When did childhood run past me
When did everything get so old and worn down
When did my parents put me down and never pick me back up
When did I put my favorite bears down for good
I don't remember choosing this
I didn't want to decide
I want my canopy bed
I want to be playing baseball with all the boys again
I want to skin my knees and cry goddammit
Because physical pain is so much easier than the emotional I've grown to withstand
When was my favorite movie no longer animated
When did I start matching my socks
When did people no longer feel the need to tell me to sit like a lady
Pull my dress down
Or stop getting runs in my stocking
I miss the immaturity associated with childhood
I miss the things I used to hate
Why can we not go back and replay it
Over and over
Till we find we're happy enough to let it go
Instead of it involuntary leaving us
I miss your moxie, kid