Destined

A Moment to Reflect

We were young, foolish. In love.

Isn't that how it always starts- tragedy?

She was always beautiful. A creature of the bright, hopeful, naive world that she lived in. I can tell you, I sincerely find her intoxicating evem just by hearing her name.

Beth.

One shouldn't be so intoxicated and ridiculously in love with anyone. It only leads to pain and sorrow. Now don't ask me why a foolish 21 year old made the decision to sleep with a 16 year old. I was stupid. Beyond stupid. I felt on top of the world with Beth. We loved each other. We loved each other so much that when we got the news, we didn't care about the consequences. We didn't care if her her father would cpme after me with a gun. Or if her sister, Maggie, would end her social life, leaving Beth friendless. We didn't care about any of that.

I was scared.

I was mortified when everything happened that for a moment I saw my life ending. I felt my lungs take it's last breath. But after it all, the pain turned to a singlemark on my heart, blackening it. Blackening it til it stopped beating all together.

We stopped. We stopped loving each other, though she would always impact my heart. We stopped talking for five years until we felt we could come to terms with our feelings. But we're not the same. Never will we be a the same. How could we be?

So, we moved on. At 26, I am alone and running the Fire Dept. Ladder 143 and thr only person I worry about is me. Who else would I worry about? Beth is in college, hops from one guy to the next- her most recent terrible choice in a man is Zach, an abusive fucker who doesn't remotely deserve her. But I can't say a damn thing. I'll never be able to say anything.

One day, she'll realize that not everyone will love her as much as I did.
---Daryl M. Dixon