Destined

You Can't Buy Love

As I put the finishing touches on my outfit, I think about how upset Daryl seemed. He said he wanted to talk, but I don't want to with the way he acted the other day. If Daryl could just understand that he doesn't have to be a dick all the time, I'd have no problem going to him to listen to what he has to say. But knowing that he is going to be irritated with me, eludes me from going. I really shouldn't have agreed to go on a date with Jesus because he is Daryl's half brother, but ya know, he's closer in age and quite good looking.

***

"Yo' I gotta date in like two minutes, can you just chill and take my shift?" Jesus frustrates me to no end. He's always slacking off and now he's trying to get in Beth's pants when I know she's not ready for that. That and she's my girl!

"You have a responsibility Paul! You can't just call off when you want. Others have scheduled off cause they are with their families." I scold him and he huffs out a big breath.

"She could be my family. She's hot, sweet, and..."

"Enough! Yer not goin' and that's final!" My anger courses through me and I want to explode even more. Jesus looks at me, scoffs and goes to walk away.

"Yer just mad cause no woman will ever love you! Dick Face!" Jesus walks off and I pick up a wrench and throw it at the cement wall, chipping the red paint off of it. God I'm so fucking angry with him. He has no sense of responsibility and is such a prick! Getting back to work on the engine, I check the fluid. Being a mechanic pays off, especially when I don't have to send a tanker five hours away to get fixed. It's inconvenient. As I'm finishing up the last little bit, I hear laughing- Beth's laugh. Dropping my rag, I go toward the sound and lean gain at the doorway, watching him make her laugh.

She looks so beautiful in her floral dress with her hair pulled back just enough to expose her ears decked out in jewels. Wait. Those earrings...they're the ones I bought her. My heart sinks and my stomach twists with pain. He makes her life and smile. She seems genuinely excited and nervous to see him.

"I'm sorry though...boss says I have to work." He tells her and she seems crushed. I promised I'd never hurt her again.

"Go." I say and both look at me, both shocked, one utterly confused.

"But you just said..."

"And now I'm saying go." I say as nicely as I can, but the disappointment still inches itself in my voice. Turning around I leave just as I hear him say thank you. I raise my hand to signal I heard him and just sulk back to the engines.

***

He looked at me the way he did when we first met. Taken. Distraught. Impossibly infatuated. His voice seemed sure of itself but there was still that waver of pain and suffering. The same sound of his voice when he told me he was alright when we lost the baby. The pain in my chest grows larger as I sit across from Jesus at dinner. My mind racing, but not from him. From doing this to Daryl. Jesus is a nice guy, funny, good looking, charming, but my heart just hurts. I don't get why. Why does he make me feel like I'm a terrible person for doing this.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm.... Oh yeah. I'm sorry." I apologize, but how long was I sitting here looking out of it?

"That's alright. Happens to the best of us. Is your hibachi good?" Looking down at my plate, there is hardly a dent in the big bowl full of rice, noodles, shrimp and steak. His is practically gone.

"Oh, yes. I think I'm gonna need a box though. I'm stuffed." He laughs and sips his Sake. His hair is really long , but it,'s tied back into a man bun. His beard is quite long too, but neatly trimmed. I'm surprised Daryl didn't make him shave it off. It is a fire hazard, ya know.