Destined

Reality Sucks

Setting the picture down, I can feel my heart beating harder in my chest. She's married to Paul and has two beautiful boys? Huh, where'd I go wrong? Getting on that fucking medicine- that's what did me in. I should've just stayed unstable. It would have been better for everyone. Everyone except Beth. Now what? She's married, has miracle children with him, and probably a nice big house. She's living the dream with someone else. Well...J guess I should be...

"Daryl? Are you okay?" Tara pulls me from my pity party and I realize J must have been staring for a long time without blinking.

"Yeah...uh...sorry Tara. I just. I can't believe Paul actually found someone to tolerate him."

"Yeah. He's been away a lot lately."

"Why?" He tries to keep his voice stable, but he's wavering.

"Work mostly. It's really bothering Beth."

"Beth never was one for change." My heart is breaking little by little. All I want is her and all I can have is nothing.

"She seems flustered with it really. She wants to travel with him, but with the buys- It's a little hard. She's been working so much that she really rarely gets to spend time with the boys. It's all very stressful."

"What does she do?"

"She is a school nurse. She got her LPN two years go- and ever since she's been busy up to her ears filling in at different schools around the county. Makes it hard to raise two boys when you barely have time to rest. She's run down." Why is she telling me all this? Like I'm the one to fix it? "Ya know, she doesn't live to far, just across the lake. You could go say hi."

"You can't just drop in unexpected and expect them to be okay with that. It's not polite." I say sort of serious and Tara laughs, laying deeper into the back of the couch.

"Spoken from the mouth of someone who just did that today!"

"I don't want anything to be awkward."

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward."

***

I just got home a second ago and the boys are already running the baby sitter out of the house. I don't know what to do with them. They aren't behaving in school, they barely listen to me, and it's all because Paul is off again doing God knows who.

"Luke! Stop drawing on the wall! Marcus! Do not put that crayon in your nose!"

Ding dong

Great. People. Huh. I wish people would call first. I look like shit. Hairs a mess. My clothes are already stained. The house is a mess. Going to the door, I open it up and nearly die.

"Fuck!" I slam the door and lean against it. What is Daryl doing here? And with flowers?

"And she said it wouldn't be awkward." Daryl grumbles from the other side of the door. I've missed the grumbles. Turning around, I see the shadowy figure turn away and I quickly open the door.

"Daryl! Wait!" I grab his hand with angst. When our eyes meet, I feel whole again. I've missed him so much. His hair is short just like the day I met him. He looks so different, but so much the same. Pulling him into my body, I give him a big hug and wait for that perfect moment I've been waiting for. And it finally happens. He holds me back, minding the flowers. "I've missed you."

So much.

"I've missed you too." Placing a kiss on my forehead, it's warm and light, but...wait- he doesn't know. "I got these for ya...to say I'm sorry for all those years ago."

"Yellow Tulips, my favorite." I smell them and hug him even harder. "There's so much I have to tell you..."

"I know."

"You...know?" How does he know? How did he even know I live here?

"Yes. But, catch me up anyways. How about we get coffee tomorrow? My treat?" His eyes are so inviting and blue. They are what I love most about him.

"Sure. How's 10:25? Martina's Cafe right in town?" We separate and I feel the cold air brush over me. I forget that it's colder here than back in Georgia. Even after five years of living here.

"Sounds perfect." He kisses my head once more, but instead of filling me with joy- it brings me sadness. That's how my father kisses me. Not Daryl.

"Good...can't wait." I stammer. Why did that have to happen now? Why does everything have to come up all at once and make me miserable?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..."

"Don't make me ask." His voice is calm, but I know he means business. Suddenly tears fall from my eyes and I feel stupid. "Beth."

"I just can't do this Daryl...I have so much shit going on that I can't even process everything." My tears become heavier and they make a river down my face. "I'm ssss...sorry."

"Can we step inside for a bit? Get you warmed up and have our chat now? I don't want to intrude but I can't leave you like this." He's so sweet and considerate. Considering everything that's happened to him, it's a wonder how he can still find the guy he was. Nodding, he leads me inside and the house is quiet. Too quiet. Walking into the living room, Luke is on his back seizing and Marcus is crying in the corner! Rushing over to Luke, I lay him on his side and wait. Marcus is still crying. There's nothing I can do but wait for it to stop. I glance to the hallway and Daryl is standing there shocked and unmoved. You'd think with him being a firefighter he wouldn't be so panicked.

After a few seconds, Luke is out of his seizure and I just hold him close to me. Marcus comes over and hugs his twin, while Daryl still seems pale.

"You're okay buddy. We will go see Aunt Denise when she gets home. Okay?" I kiss his forehead and feel terrible Daryl had to come in to this. I'm glad he made me though. Normally Luke's seizures only last a minute or so. This one was slightly longer than normal. And with all the foam and bile, I'm lucky that he didn't drown. Thank you God. "Daryl this is Luke and Marcus."

The boys eyes light up and Daryl is beyond confused.

"Boys, this is your father."

Daryl passes out right on the hallway floor. Oh Daryl, I thought you knew.