Destined

Burning

It's perfect.

This warmth between us.

An everlasting flow of energy connecting our souls.

I have her.

Here in my arms.

And I will forever want her there.

***

As I sit on the couch watching Ladder 49...again.... Beth's head lays in my lap- tired from everything and eyes glued shut. Stroking my hand over her hair, I can't help but feel taken by her once more. She's so radiant and beautiful- my heart feels as though it's about to burst from all this love I have for her and only her. I love her. I love her and nothing ever changed that. There will never be any other woman out there for me than Beth.

Stop. Stop...I sound like an ass. In two days she'll be back at school and that asshole will probably be influencing her to go back to him. Fuck. My fists tighten and I have to force myself not to yell and wake her up.

Frustrated. I'm beyond frustrated with this whole thing. Life was simple when it was just me. A whole day wouldn't be wasted sleeping or cuddling!

Stop...stop. Calm down. Don't fuck this up. Don't be your old self. We hate that guy remember. He's the one who hurt her in the first place.

She stirs in my lap and those sapphire eyes twinkle up at me. Slowly rolling over, she stretches her arms up and around my neck- pulling me halfway down to meet her lips. She always used to do this. She was always so spontaneous and me, well, you know- I'm a worthless asshole.

"How long was I out?" She yawns and plays with my hair.

"Bout an hour I'd say."

"I always fall asleep when I'm with you. Why?" True- when we were first dating, no matter what we were doing- sitting watching tv, watching a sun set, or sitting in the truck- she always managed to fall asleep.

"I don't know..."

"I think it's because I feel so safe around you that I never have to worry about getting hurt when I'm sleeping." She yawns once more and snuggles her face into my stomach. "I don't really sleep any more- so this is a treat."

She doesn't sleep? Why? Probably all that drinking and fucking. And why doesn't she feel safe when she sleeps? What does she have to be scared of?

"Why don't you sleep? Who's hurting you?" I play with her hair and she yawns and all looks at me through drowsy eyes.

"All the nightmares...huhh, I can't sleep from the nightmares." Wrapping her arms behind me and into the cushions, she shoves her face into my stomach once more and nuzzles me gently with her face. "I don't seem to have nightmares when I'm with you though."

Uh.

"Daryl..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't wanna go back to college..." What? "I want to come back and stay with you."

"That's all fine and dandy, but what about a job to pay off your loans? What about your degree in nursing?" Panic. Sheer panic.

"I have enough money saved up to pay off my loans and scholarships cover the rest...besides- I have my certification to be an EMT and from what Jesus said last night yer in search for a new one." She's got it all planned out does she. Well we'll see about... " I know you probably think this is a really dumb idea..but...well, I am an adult and can make my own decisions. I never wanted to go to school anyway, my dad made me. And...and well I wanna make a difference and safe people's lives."

She's sitting up and staring at me, arms crossed in that 'I'm not listening, I'm right' manner and nose pointed to the ceiling. Stubborn. She's always been stubborn. Why did I think she'd change that attribute?

"Okay."

"Wait what?"

"I said, okay." She slowly loses her pompous posture and sits there dumbfounded that me, Mr. Boss, is agreeing to this impractical plan. "It's your life, Beth. I'm not going to tell you how to live it. I do need an EMT and I know yer good for it. So, okay."

Blinking a few times, she's immobilized and confused. Stiff like a board.

***

What? He's okay with me just dropping out of school? He's the one who preached to me about making good with my caring nature and told me to be a responsible adult and listen to my dad about college. He insisted that I think about the long run and what I wanted in my life- not the shirt term, live in the moment bullshit. Where is the bossy Daryl who treats me like a child?

"My own condition to this..." There it is. "Is marrying me."

Wait...WHAT?

***

This is how I get her. I know it. She thinks that I'm okay with this plan of her leaving school- I'm not. I know she's no where near ready or wanting to be married- so I know she'll choose school over that. Which sucks because, well, I love her. Beth never wanted actual marriage- sure she wants to be with one person for the rest of her life and have kids, but she never wanted to marry anyone- take on the title of wife, change her last name. She always wanted to keep things how it was. Never wanted to be tied down or...

"Okay."

Fuck.

"I'll marry you."

Well...that back fired. Fuck!

"I thought you hated the idea of marriage." I try to keep my voice calm and collected but it's ripping apart at the seams and she thinks nothing of this, but deep down I know she's devilishly laughing.

"I used to think that. But with age comes reality and in this reality, I want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life."

"You're only 21- there are so many men out there- who says I'm you're soul mate?" Shit- did I just say that? What is wrong with me?

"I know you're my soulmate Daryl. There's no guy out there that makes me feel the way I do- like you."

Well...this just escalated.