Destined

Tides of Red

"I'll tell you one last yime get that damn dog off my couch!" Michone bellows as Rick and I stare at Huck sleeping on her new couch. We never thought it would matter much since the couch is white and most of Huck is too. I have yet to tell Rick about last night, mainly because he'll start this whole argument about my temper. My temper is fine, I just can't control it around stupid people- not that Beth is stupid by nature, but with that guy she is. Maybe I make myself over emotional to things to hastily instead of working out the situation, but then again I had a right to be angry with what she was accusing me of. I ain't like Zach.

"So yer too quiet Dixon. Party too hard last night? Must've been pretty good if you couldn't even party with your friends and family." Here we go.

"I had a call last night- Ty, Jim, David and I went on it...."

"You seem tied- what's the matter?"

"You remember that girl from Senoia?"

"Yeah- the girl you had feelings for."

"It wasn't so much of feelings as it was complications." Glaring at me, he knows he's right. "Alright fine dammit, feelings. Anyway, she was in that accident and I met her at the hospital."

"Oh shit....um, how'd that go?"

"It's been five years man....I thought, I thought I'd be fine, but I wasn't. The yelling started, the crying, the guilt- anger just filled is both. I just...I just couldn't do it. I avoided all these years to save her from myself, but it made it worse." His eyes cast over me like the sun through thick clouds during a rain storm: they are calming and mystical in a holy kind of way.

"Maybe you should try and talk things through?"

"How?"

"You know where she goes to school, just head over to campus and ask to get coffee some time. You two need to stop avoiding each other- it was an accident for Pete's sake." Rick takes a sip of his beer and I drowned in mine. If I were to do this, I highly doubt we'd be civil.

"Fine, damn you."

****

I thought really hard about the last two weeks. So much that my stomach is in toils. I've been getting so sick lately that I barely eat any more because it just comes back up. As long as I stay empty, it's just foamy bile... But starving myself isn't helping the situation. Breaking up woth Zach is the right thing to do- right?

He put me in danger, he hurts me, basically rapes me cause he's the only benefitting out of sex- so painfully admitti g it- Daryl was right.

"I'm going to get the truck and head to my lady doctor." I tell Amy before leaving. She's gonna end up tell me she needs something anyway, so I might as well ask. "Do you need anything?"

"Yeah can you pick me up some Gelato- the triple chocolate kind." God that shits expensive...

"Sure!" Walking out to my truck, I go over my breakup speech again and again. This is gonna suck so bad. Like really really bad. But my appointment is going to be worse. I have missed my last two appointments because of Zach. Going out to party, going to eat, going to his sporting events- it seems we only do whay he wants to do. I don't think he's ever done one thing I wanted to do. Never even asks. Unlike Daryl.

Daryl would always ask me what I wanted to do. He'd make sure that we went where I wanted to go before he would even suggest something. He certainly let me pick the place to eat because I was vegetarian at that time. Since going to college and being with Zach, I've given up trying to avoid meat. I've probably gained weight since being with Zach cause that's all he wants to do is eat.