Destined

Drink?

I'm sitting in the hallway against the wall, waiting. I can hear his gentle sobs, but I say nothing. He is rough and aggressive and....but, maybe not so much any more. Maybe his uncontrollable Bipolar disorder made him out to be a monster. Maybe this Daryl, the man crying in our children's room, is simply a small copy of the man who had been hiding all along.

Stepping out into the hallway, eyes puffy and face flush, he looks down and notices me. Head stooping and hands propped up on my knees- he must think I'm pathetic like this. Like I am just barely letting the world surround me.

"You wanna drink?" I quietly ask and Daryl just sits down beside me in the hallway, legs stretching out to the other side.

"I just wanna talk." He has a lifted sort of tone to his voice and I can't tell if I'm frightened by it, or aroused. I haven't been with him in a long time. When I first saw him at my door, my heart started skipping beats again and my breath became shallow. Sighing, I lean my head against the wall and then turn it to look at him. So poised and polite- so un-Daryl. Turning my head back, I close my eyes and just try and remember the old him. The him I fell in love with. Is this him? "I can't remember our last conversation we had all those years ago, but I know deep inside I hurt you."

He's right. He left me wounded and broken into little pieces.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?" He never says that. Only in really bad situations, but he never says that.

"I'm sorry for all I have done to you in your life time. I've been terrible in many ways and all I want now...is your forgiveness." Is this why he came? Just to apologize? But...but... "I know an apology after all the damage was done is irrelevant, but it's all I can offer at this point."

"Stop." He looks at me with a twisted face, confused and maybe even hurt. "I don't care any more, what you have or have not done to hurt me. When you showed up here today, I was brought back to life. My...our boys were happy for once. If you're planning on saying sorry and then leaving, I will kill you."

He laughs, but I'm not joking.

"I have struggled for years to come to grips that you would never want me again. That you would never come for me. So if you plan on just walking out after making those boys so happy then...then I hate you." I go to leave and he pulls me into his lap and crushes me with a passionate hug. He holds me like a child and never lets me go for the longest time it seems. We just sit there in silence. Right there on the cold wood floor.

"If you want me...then I'm yours." Tears of joy stream down my face and I just hold him close to me as long as I can. "They're miracles... those boys of ours...huh, I can't get used to that. I have boys- two amazing boys. I love them so much. And..."

"What the hell is this?"

Looking away from Daryl, I find Paul standing at the top of the stairs glaring at Daryl and I.

"Paul...quiet the boys are asleep..." I frantically stand up and stand between the two men. Paul looks so angry and Daryl, far less aggressive as ever.

"Outside. Now." Paul demands and I turn to stop Daryl, but he pushes passed me and follows Paul down the steps. I run after them knowing that this won't end well.

Once outside, with the front door shut, Paul is immediately up in Daryl's un-phased face. His hair isn't as long as it was when I first met Paul, in fact his beard has dwindled to s small clean goatee like Daryl's and his hair is just long enough to curl around his ears. They look quite similar for half brothers, except Paul's bright blue eyes pierce Daryl's dark ones.

"After all these years you show up to my house and embrace my wife?" Paul snarls and Daryl stands unmoved. "I believe the last time we had a talk like this, you threw me down yer stairs and told me you'd kill me if I ever laid eyes on yer woman again? Sound about right?"

"Yes, I believe that's accurate."

"Well guess what bro- she's my WIFE! The papers haven't been signed so that still binds us together. What should I do to you? Brand you? Throw you off the roof? Hold you under the water in the lake until you almost gasp yer last breath? Because you decided to show up after five hellish years?" I stand there. Scared. Paul has the Dixon temper as well. He isn't too far off from where Daryl would normally be.

"Whatever you'd like, I suppose." What? Daryl seems sick or something, right? He wouldn't agree to Paul beating the snot out of him over me would he? It catches Paul by surprise as well.

"What? What the hell's wrong with you?"

"She is your wife. I don't know what you two have been through or where your marriage went wrong, but thank you."

"Huh?"

"No matter why your marriage is ending, it had started. You took care of a woman, the only, that I have ever loved. You took my children in because I was inept. So do what you'd like to me for comforting your wife. I would be just as angry if I were in your shoes. So I understand fully what must happen next for this to resolve. I don't blame you brother. I thank you for all you have done." He speaks with such wisdom and truth in his voice that neither Paul nor I can move. His words are so full of passion and sympathy that I wouldn't even know they were in a fight prior to this. Paul's body seems to relax and his face seems to soften. I don't fully remember why we're we're heading down the path of unhappiness, for I did love him, do love him. But the words Daryl has spoken now has reassured me that I will always love him more than any other man in the world.

"I...uh...what? Daryl? I threatened you. I took yer girl. Yer kids. This isn't how I thought it would end."

"That's what's funny about Destiny. It just happens for no rhyme nor reason. I can't hold a grudge or be mad about things that were already decided for me. Just like I can't control the weather. It is what it is."

Paul stands there taken by the moment and Daryl turns and walks up to me. The moonlight shining on us like a single spot light. He slowly grabs my hands and looks deep into my eyes.

"I do love you. There's no doubt. But I've wasted your good years- for that, I'm sorry. But in those years, I have worried so much about what people thought of me, that I never truly lived. So..." He wants me. He'll take me away from all of this and be my prince after all. "I have to say goodbye."

"No..."

"There is so much out there that neither of us has seen. And I do believe Paul truly loves you the way I do. I could tell from the moment I saw him just now, that that spark he used to have when he first met you in the station, is rekindled. And I see it in you as well. We will always be intertwined. I will always love you. But this chapter...this is for you to be free of all the burdens and guilt you may have had. "

"Yer leaving?"

"Just back to Georgia. It's my time. Our story is over. I know you've known that for a long time. You just couldn't move on and leave me. Behind. So...that's why I had to come here. To set you free. I give you my heart and soul. But it's time for you to be happy." Leaning forward, he kisses my lips tenderly and I realize, the spark, the kindled flame, it truly is out. I thought for years I was desperately in love with this man, and I was, but only from experience and time. To be here in this moment, being let go, it hurts, but he's right. He's right to let me go. Stepping back, he takes my hands and places them in Paul's. I feel the warmth of my husbands hands and can feel the happiness course through me. How does he do that? How does he know what I need? I will always love him.

.....