Destined

Reliving the Past (Part Two)

I haven't seen Daryl in a few weeks, nearly a month or two. Every so often he sends me a text or leaves a note on my truck when I get out of school. The morning after we made love, I woke up alone in his bed. Beside me on his pillow was a note that said he had to work and that he had a great time and he was sorry that he couldn't have been there when I awoke. I thought, hoped, that maybe he'd come see me at home or catch me in town sometime, but nothing. It was as if he was avoiding me altogether.

I just...I feel terrible. My stomach has been upset for quiet sometime and I can't help but get sick. I try so hard to keep my food down, but most of the time I can hardly make it to the bathroom. It is one day, when I had to rush out of class that the truth finally came to me.

There I was, spewing my guts out into a toilet when on the other side God the stall doors came the giggle of other girls. Hiding on top of the toilet, I hid my shame the best I could.

"She's been acting like that for weeks now. Lil miss priss finally gets laid and she winds up pregnant. Dumb girl doesn't even know..." It sounded like Maria Deosa.

"Shut up...it's called denial. Beth knows what pregnancy looks like- for crippes sake her cousin Jocelyn got knocked up in Junior High three years ago. So just leave her alone Maria."

"Jees Rosita, you sure do stick up for that little Goody Goody all the time. You need to stop feeling bad for that Junior and start living up Senior year." I heard ten walk out and I so badly wanted to go after them and tell Maria what everyone really thought of her. But I wasn't like that. Getting off of the toilet, I flushed my despair and stepped out. I needed to take a test, but they were probably right- I was probably pregnant.

***

Sleeping in a creeper under an engine, I dream of freedom. Lately all I've been doing is work, work, work. It's stupid how the chief won't let me go on any real calls for fires. All he lets me do is answer calls, dispatch engines, and repair anything and everything that breaks. It's not easy. I hate it. But I love the rewarding days. The days I get to help and be proud that I'm closer and closer to being a fireman.

"Daryl wake up." Tyreese, another Proby, kicks my feet and I sit up, banging my head against the gas tank. "There's a cute girl here ya see ya."

"I wasn't sleeping..." I say as I crawl out from underneath the engine. "And what girl? What's her name?"

"Elizabeth or something? I don't know man." Elizabeth? I don't know any Elizabeths.

"She outside?" I start walking out and Ty grabs my arm.

"In the bunks."

"The bunks! What is she doing in the bunks?"

"It's the only private place and she needs to talk to you." Shaking my head, I saunter upstairs to some woman I don't even know who, and go to the bunks. Opening the door, it's obvious Tyreese is a dunce.

***

Standing in the door way, shoulders stopped and face ashen, I see Daryl gazing back at me in almost disbelief. He's frozen, and I don't blame him. I look different, stomach slightly protruding outward because of our baby. I'm only two months pregnant, but I feel heavier and unattractive than that.

"Beth..."

"Hi...can we talk?" I sweetly ask him and he slowly closes the door behind him and he walks over to me all stiff and burdened.

"Beth..."

"Yes...Daryl, um, sit down, please." I sit on a bed and he slowly sits across from me, his eyes never leaving my stomach. "How have you been?"