Bully Love (Zayn Malik)

41

41.

My eyes were still opened at three o'clock in the morning as I cuddled with my fluffy blanket. I can't stop thinking about everything. Zayn. Liam. Buzz. The bullies. Just everything. I sighed and buried my face in my pillow.

I looked at my clock and it said five. How long have I been sitting here? I didn't think it had been that long. I might as well get up now. I'm definitely not getting any sleep. I stood up and grabbed some clothes to go take a shower. Even though I smelled good, I didn't feel good. I threw my hair in a bun and put on my comfiest sweatpants and sweatshirt, not feeling like dressing up at all. Having time to kill, I sat outside on my deck with a cigarette hanging loosely from my mouth for a few minutes. I inhaled, then exhaled while a tear meandered down my cheek.

I filled Buzz's bowl and left the house, even though it was six thirty and school started in an hour. I sighed again for the billionth time today and turned right towards the school. Hopefully I won't have to deal with any crap today. Hopefully no one will even pay attention to me. Hopefully I can just get through the day without talking to anyone, except Colten maybe.

I entered a few minutes later and hardly anyone was there; maybe three people in classrooms studying. I got my books for my first couple of periods and sat down on an unoccupied bench. I didn't know what I was thinking. I could've gotten through the year with just Liam and Colten by my side. Zayn didn't even have to be in the picture after the project. I blame myself completely.

My phone buzzed and I saw Zayn's name. I haven't spoke to him in a couple of days - besides a couple of "leave me alone"'s - but I still answered. "Uh," I cleared my throat, "hello?"

I heard him take a sharp intake of breath. "Oh, Nikki! I am so sorry! I'm so glad you answered. Can you just give me some time to explain what happened and when--"

"Zayn, it's alright, that's not necessary. Can you please stop calling me and trying to talk because I really can't take all of this at once. I'm probably better off by myself for the rest of the school year." I took a deep breath. This is really hard for me. "We should break up, if we weren't already."

"What? Nikki, please--"

"I'm sorry, Zayn. G-goodbye." I was so close to crying. I quickly hung up the phone and wiped my eyes. I can't stop thinking about him, especially when he keeps calling and texting. I just need to forget everything that happened and live my life. Just about one and a half months until I graduate and then I can move to wherever I want.

Why does my life suck?

People came in as the time kept going. I didn't move from my spot on the bench until I realized that I needed my notebook for math. I sighed and stood up with my stuff.

Walking to my locker was a pain. Everyone either looked at me weirdly, with sympathy, or they laughed at me. I just kept my head down mostly and then I passed Harry and Louis. "Hey!" I hardly flinched. Suddenly I felt myself being pressed up against the lockers and my books were on the floor. "I said 'hey'." Ramos must be out today or this is either the worst he's going to do.

"Hi." I struggled to breathe.

People around us gasped and said something along the lines of "I haven't seen Harry beat up Nikki in a while". Louis was standing right beside him as he nearly choked me. "I heard you and your little boyfriend broke up. He's too busy crying to even come to school. That's too bad. Heh, wimp."

"Don't talk about Zayn like that." I tried to get out of his grasp but he was too strong.

"Like what? Pansy? Punk? Liar?" I breathed heavily, trying to control my anger. "You're still standing up for him when he lied to you?" I didn't answer. "He's not here for you now!" He threw me back, making me stumble. "Where is he, Smalls? He doesn't care about you!" I don't know where this sudden anger at me came from, but this is how it used to be.