Bully Love (Zayn Malik)

43

43.

I snuck out of the bathroom window when I started to hear Zayn talking to me from outside the bathroom. I had my purse and only left my backpack so it wasn't the big of a deal. "What the - did you just climb out of that window?"

I turned to see Perrie standing at her car with Sam, a boy that was held back last year so he's a junior. I was pretty sure that he was kissing her so I'm glad she's over Zayn. I ignored her as I headed towards my car.

"Oh, and Smalls," Perrie followed me. "Zayn--"

"I don't want to talk about Zayn." I mumbled.

"I told you about him. You should've listened."

"I should've." I nodded. I listened to her babbling on and on about how Zayn does this and how Zayn does that. About Zayn's lies. Zayn's face. Zayn's everything. "Shut up, Perrie!" I turned around. "Yeah, I know that dating Zayn was a mistake! I know I was wrong! I know what happened so stop reminding me!"

"I was just saying--"

I cut her off with a punch in the face. I gasped and looked at her on the ground. "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I got in my car and drove home quickly.

* * *

I sat cross cross on the floor with my hands on my knees, holding up my head. I am done with everything that's happened. My ex boyfriend is a lying jerk, my best friend hates me, my family doesn't care about me, my brother is dead, the whole school thinks I'm a loser again and they're bystanders since they think it's okay to bully me once more, and the bullies still don't like me. My life is just falling apart at the seams. I just cannot take it anymore.

People are always saying it gets better, but my "it" has not gotten better. It's been seven years of it. It actually has gotten worse. As many times as people told me to kill myself or die, I think I should finally listen to them and be obedient. I unwillingly stood up to my feet. If I want to die, I'm gonna have to get up because I know exactly how I'm going to do it. Freshman year, March 2nd, 2009, I nearly threw myself off the Madison Bridge since it was the closest thing to me that could kill me and no one would find my body. March 28th, 2012, Mike went to the store to buy more milk for the house but some idiotic drunk driver nearly crashed into him and off the Madison Bridge, putting him into the coma that killed him. May 1st, - tonight - I get a weight and tie it around my ankles to throw myself off the Madison Bridge and then it will sink me to the bottom of the river and drown myself. Sounds about right to me.

I walked into my parents room and picked up a one hundred fifty pound weight and a rope. I only weigh 105 pounds so this perfect. My next stop was at the kitchen, where all the knives were and where I left my phone. I filled up Buzz's bowls one last time and grabbed my car keys. I looked in the mirror that was by the door. My bun was messy and lopsided. Not the cute kind of messy bun, but the ridiculous-looking one. Mascara and eyeliner was stained on my cheeks and the makeup that I usually wore was fading and messing up so I just looked a mess. Taking my fist, I slammed it against the mirror and it shattered all over the floor. My bloody knuckle was stinging but right now, I didn't care at all. The pain was distracting me from the emotional pain that was burning inside of me. I shook my hand of the glass and opened the door. I slammed it shut and locked it.

Sitting in the front seat of my car, I began typing on my phone.

'Dear Everyone,

I know you probably don't care, but this message is behind the reason why I'm about to kill myself, or at least try really hard to. If your name is Eleanor, Perrie, Harry, Louis, Liam, or Zayn, I suggest keep reading, because this is mostly about you. Oh, and Colten, you read too 'cause I made you a nice little section. I've decided to do this because I'm sick of it all. All these lies, tricks, and games. You all drove me to insanity and I can't take living in this world anymore. I hate myself. I don't want to be here any longer. It seems like everyone I talk to always manages to screw me over.