Saving Chloe [5SOS Fanfic] *SLOW UPDATES*

chapter four

-Chloe's Perspective-

I try focusing, but its completely impossible.

I have no idea why I slapped Sam. It was a selfish act. Yet it happened so quickly without even thinking about it.  I've never landed a bad arm on her since we were little.

I felt so guilty, but I did this for a reason, right?

But why? It couldnt have been because I was jealous of her kissing Ashton, RIGHT?

Oh, I hope not.

"Chloe."

I turn to see Ashton. His messy, light, brown hair falling into place as he stares at me. His voice was shaking and his face was pale. I tried reading his expression, but I couldnt. But I knew something was different. 

Ashton stared at me for an even minute before I turn away, thinking of doing the impossible.

Kissing him like Sam did. 

I wish that was me. I wish I wasn't thinking of these thoughts, but it just came to me without a warning.

I could still feel Ashton's eyes on me. But I couln't tell what he was waiting for me to do. I was mad, not exactly at him, but at Sam.

I closed my eyes, feeling confused at the moment.

Then I feel a warm hand land gently over mine. I open my eyes to see that nobody had placed a hand on me. I was imagining things now.

I avoided our eyes meeting, because that would only give me unwanted feelings.

I was jealous and I didn't want to talk about it. Not with Ashton anyways.

I unlock my phone, seeing my back screen of me and Ashton. Ughhh. I check the time and without wanting to, I tell Ashton its time for him to leave.

I don't dare look him in the eyes, not now. He leaves without a word, and I'm relieved.

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-Ashton's Perspective-

I couln't take it. There was a great ache in my chest. There was something completely wrong today.

After the incident, Chloe hadn't talk to me nor landed an eye on me for more that 5 seconds.

Does it mean that she-

No Ashton, I thought. 

She doesn't like you. You're an idiot and she only dates the smarty pants.

I frown at my thoughts, litterally overthinking now.

I was hanging on a thread. Holding tightly to what we used to be.

I felt myself drowning in my own thoughts, losing track of the rest of the world as it passed by beside me. I finally arrived home, unlocking the door and entering without bothering to say the usual hellos.

I head straight up to the garage.

My mind is set on the instrument I'd like to play, and its apparently not the drums.

I grab my guitar immediatly. Replaying in my mind a song that I feel most relatable during these moments.

What Hurts The Most by the Rascal Flatts.

I sit on my stool, thinking over and over the beat of this song.

I could litterally feel my heart beating against my chest, and the pain still remains.

I string the guitar now. Finding the right rhythm with this song, and I sing.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me.

I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out.

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though

Goin' on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay

But that's not what gets me."

I pause, feeling the first tear come down quickly. I was trying to hard to hold it in. 

"What hurts the most

was being so close and having so much to say,

and watchin' you walk away.

and never knowing what could've been.

And not seein' that lovin' you

is what i was trying to do."

I couln't help myself from crying. I was weak without a doubt.

"Its hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go."

Instead of singing, I probably sounded like a little kid whining.

I was lost in my thoughts of her, and couldn't find a way out. I thought of her smile. Her laugh. Her gentle eyes, just like the colour of the ocean yet much darker. I thought of her hair, me imagining placing it behind her ear. 

I see her smiling with that beautiful smile of hers. Her cute nose scrunching up as she chuckles her adorable laugh.

But these thoughts are supposed to make me happy. Make me feel in love.

But all it does it crush me completely.

Making me feel lost and unsure of everything.