Ms. Behave [The Winter Soldier Fanfiction]

4. Blink

I stare up at my ceiling having nothing better to do with my time.

Absolutely nothing is what I've been doing for the past week. I even called in sick and made it sound convincing enough so I wouldn't have to go to work. I let my paranoia and horrid mood get the best of me, and came to the conclusion that I should confine myself behind the walls of my apartment. It's not good for me to be out and about when I'm like this, so that's why I lay here with no purpose.

I turn over on my side and look at my clock, watching as the lengthy minutes pass. Thirty minutes go by before I hear a knock on the front door. I jump up from the excitement of having a visitor and rush to the door, thinking I need to see a new face after seven days of solitude. Looking through the peephole, I see a hasty appearing Jondin.

Oh, him again...

I open the door and am about to say something, but he cuts me off and states, "I haven't heard from you for a week."

I shrug, not sure if that was supposed to make me feel a certain way. "So? Why do you even concern yourself with me?"

Jondin dodges the question completely and blurts, "I was worried. You're not the kind of person to just disappear."

"Well, I'm perfectly fine as you can see."

He ignores my attitude and continues to blabber about his own issues with my absence. "How come you didn't answer your phone when I called? I thought you died or something-"

This man... "I'm grown, OK. You don't ask me why I do something."

He holds his hands up as if he's surrendering and says, "Chill, chill. I was just really worried. God..."

I realize that I have been glaring and relax my face. "You've been all up in my space lately," I tell Jondin. "What's up with that?"

"It's something called 'interest'. Ever heard of it?"

I mean I guess, but probably not in the way that he's thinking. "It depends. Are we talking about savings?" I ask sarcastically.

Jondin chuckles. "No, no. I mean interest in people. I'm interested in you. I would like to know you more, and I can't do that if your dead. So therefore, with interest comes feelings. I don't want anything to happen to you-"

I begin to feel annoyed as he explains his feelings like I've never felt them before myself. "Shut up," I tell him. "I get it."

"So can I come in?" Jondin asks me.

A big tsunami of uncertainty hits me and a answer quickly with a 'no'. This is what happens when someone tries to tear through my walls; I hastily begin to push them away. I want as little distractions as possible, and Jondin has now proved to be an obstacle. Knowing his usual demeanor, he'll stop at nothing to get what he wants. Jondin wants a friend, and that's one thing I can't give him.

I regret telling him that I enjoyed his company a while back. I was being selfish that day, forgetting why I keep my distance in the first place.

Jondin gives me a solemn nod of attempted understanding and mutters, "I'm just happy that you're OK." With that said, he walks away.

I close the door, now suddenly in a somber mood. It's not easy shutting people out, and being an adult helps very little. I don't have to be this way, I tell myself. But yes, I do. I have people after me right now, and the last thing I need is for them to target someone that has associated themselves with me.

Yeah, I'm in the right. I just want to protect him... From me. Simple as that.

I shrug my whole recent ordeal off and return back into my room, but this time I resort to my television for entertainment rather than my clock. Sitting on my bed, I grab the remote off of my nightstand and press the power button while pointing it towards the TV. The first thing a see are a bunch of radiant flashing red and blue lights painting a building, and then I catch on.