Hail

Seventeen

I try not to wince as Lila pulls the brush through my hair. She is being as gentle as she can and yet all sensation still feels a bit amplified on the left side of my head. She is overly cautious around the cut on my head, but also is quick to assure that it can be hidden with a band of flowers so as not to be a topic of conversation at today's picnic honoring Valeous and Eleanora. Her family arrives today and it is a picnic to celebrate the joining of the two families and is the official start of the wedding celebrations. Part of me wishes to crawl back into bed, but I know there are already enough people whispering about me and what happened. To stay inside will only fuel those rumors further and take the focus away from the engaged couple. The wedding of the future king is something to be celebrated for many days with many festivities and the picnic on the southern lawn is the start of many other parties to come as the wedding draws nearer. 

I suppress the yawn that threatens to break free, not wishing for anyone to know the restlessness of my sleep. Despite the exhaustion that I felt, sleep was more of a torment than a rest. Images of the attack kept dancing through my mind, and yet they were distorted in various awful ways. There were times when I watched the woman die, her throat sliced open by the blade. There were times when I watched, helpless, as Broderick lost the fight and the two men were standing over his bleeding, broken body. There were times when the arms that were wrapped around me would try to draw me off into the darkness, his breath hot on my neck. Each dream was filled with the mumbling sound of the man's voice in my ear, and each time I would feel as if I was suffocating. I would wake after each dream, short of breath and filled with panic. It was at those time that Valeous' words would come back to my mind and I would be plagued with questions as to who would wish to hurt me so. I had believed that it was an unfortunate circumstance that we had stumbled upon, but the certainty in Valeous' eyes has caused me to doubt that belief. I have searched my mind, but can come up with no one. If it was a planned attack on a royal child then the one responsible would be aware that when they were caught father's retribution would follow. They would know that to be caught would be their torment and death.

I cannot believe Valeous' question of Jakob. It is so unlike the man that I have known that it is a thought that cannot be entertained. While I may not know who would wish to harm me, I know that it cannot be Jakob. It cannot be the one who was my secret and safe place for so long. Jakob saved me. If he had wanted to harm me, he would not have come to my rescue but rather allowed those men to do whatever they wished. Valeous may believe I have broken his heart, but Jakob told me how much he still loves me. For him to do such a thing would make all of that love a lie, and I know that it wasn't a lie.

"Is anything the matter? Are you in pain?" Lila's concerned voice breaks through my thoughts.

"No, nothing is wrong. I was just lost in my own thoughts." I offer her a smile to ease the worry that I see on her face. I know that I could tell her. I could unburden myself and confess all that I am feeling to Lila, knowing that she would never break that confidence, but I do not. Some thoughts are secrets too deep to share with others.

"Where is Cora?" I try to keep my voice light as to not betray the slight pain that I am in. It is strange for her to be missing. I had sent for her this morning, knowing that I would need extra help getting ready this morning, but she has yet to arrive. Punctuality is one of Cora's greatest traits. For her to be so late in arriving, brings a level of unease. I look at Lila's face in the mirror and can tell she is also starting to worry at Cora's absence.

Just as she opens her mouth to speak the door opens and Cora rushes inside.

"Cora, I was beginning to worry about where you were."

"I'm sorry, but I had heard some whispers late last night and I wanted to check on them this morning before I said anything to you."

Cora would not waste her time with frivolous whispers. Whatever she has to say appears to be bothering her and my mind instantly goes to Valeous' words and his worry that someone meant to harm me. "What is it?"